One year

I can't believe she is one year...

Someday...

...I'll look back on this shot and want to get this time period back. I'm so glad I have a picture!

I can appreciate

There are days when I am more appreciative of how hard some things are for Arianna. Of course she doesn't know its hard, it's all she's known, but one day she'll realize it.

Arianna got a bad stomach bug Sunday. At 3 PM she was running a fever of 103. I was running out the door to photo session so I gave the tylenol to Dad and told him to watch her. I got home and things were ok, fever broke. 11 PM she was in bed and violently vomitted around her room. Fever back up to 103.6 and she is sweating and shaking. I put her in the bath, send Dad to the store to get ibuprophen, lay Arianna on our bed to watch Family Guy (ya, well, it was the only cartoon on at that time of night) and we clean up her room.

It's a typical childhood illness - she'll survive. But not before losing a pound or two and essentially stopping eating for a week.

Daria is not sick. As a matter of fact Daria hasn't been sick since she was 3 weeks old. She may get a runny nose but we haven't had to suction her nose, give her breathing treatments, pump her full of calories or worry. We haven't had to stress with Daria!

I'm crying just writing this. Arianna has had it so hard. We have had it so hard with her. I'm not kidding when I say that there isn't a meal that goes by that doesn't either have major cajoling by us or ends in tears. It's ridiculously stressful! Daria, on the other hand, eats ANYTHING and EVERYTHING we put in front her - no matter the amount. It's incredible! I don't know what to do with a child that is as happy as her. I don't know what to do with a child that simply EATS and easts well! She's so happy and EASY...

Life hasn't been fair to Arianna. I know it could certainly be worse but it could also be better... alot better.

Back from 'the dead'

I know, I know... where have I been?

I've been busy with life. I had to reorganize my priorities the last few weeks because EVERYTHING was out of control - I'm not kidding. I dropped the majority of those stupid MOMS groups and joined Flylady.net again. The house is clean, the kids are happy and, more importantly, I'm happy.

My photography business is booming right now - 8 sessions this month! Wow!

The kids are doing well. Daria is such a joy. She's so easy and happy. I'm so hopelessly in love with that girl. She went on a nursing strike over the weekend due to teething and I cried so hard on Sunday. I was so sad that she may be 'over' me. Thankfully she changed her mind Monday morning. It really made me realize what a special relationship we have.

Feeding Daria is so easy. ANYTHING we put in front of her, she eats! It's amazing. She eats anything and everything. I was very casual with the whole 'introducing foods' thing and now she's on all table foods. Arianna was so total different its not even funny. This morning I gave Daria some strawberries and cheerios for breakfast and hubby commented "We could NEVER give Arianna cheerios at this age", and he's right. Arianna gagged on EVERYTHING and was very fussy when feeding. Daria we don't even have to feed - she does it herself. She is her happiest when in the highchair eating. There will be no force feedings, no 'mesermizing with the TV' and most importantly - no tears from either of us. The difference between these two, as far as eating is concerned, is astounding. I marvel at it. I told hubby the other day "So this is what feeding a baby is supposed to be, fun?". Arianna wasn't fun, still isn't fun. Daria eats more than Arianna most days. There is seldom a meal that doesn't end with me yelling at Arianna to eat - seriously. I think she'd go all day without eating - but she'll drink milk all day long, still. I get sad just typing that.

Arianna is reading now - last week we were in a restaurant with a friend and Arianna took my menu from me and pointed at an item and said "Mommy, I want the fish", and sure enough, she was pointing to a fish meal. I think I jumped up and screamed "OH MY GOD!!! YOU CAN READ!!" I was so excited. She's so amazing to me.

3 years old is hard. She's so sassy and at times so unbelievably disrespectful that it makes me want to go crazy and smack the smirk right off her face. But I have to keep in mind that 'this too will pass'. I had to give up on the whole 'let her dress herself' thing too - she's just so reliant on me doing everything for her that even the act of taking off her shirt is cause for breakdown. Last week she broke yet another pair of glasses - she's getting new ones on Thursday but I swear I'm going to order the rubber ones cause when she's being a snotty little brat and throws them on the ground they can just bounce right back up and hit her in the nose.

She better win an Oscar when she gets older! She's an unbelievable drama queen - I really have NEVER met a kid that can be so over the top about things. Sensory situations are the worst. Stepping on something gooey or squishy will immediately lead to falling on the ground screaming. Brushing her hair is an epic event every day. I've actually gotten to the point where I put TONS of crap in her hair to keep it so silky smoothy that one of those head lice combs could get through her thick hair with ease. I should just shave her head.

So ya, things here are good - just INSANELY busy and that's a good thing. So much has changed in the 9 months Daria has been here, good and bad. I've learned alot about myself and that I have so much to work on!

I won't promise to be back blogging more cause I hate to break a promise... but I hope to catch an inspiration breeze soon :)

Here's a picture I took to commemorate Daria's 9 month birthday :)

I'm a little biased

But I swear she's the cutest 'baby in a pink hat sitting in a swing'. I'm hopelessly addicted to this cute kid!

My girls

Today was another preemie dig at my heart & soul.

Arianna had her 3 year pediatrician appointment.

She's 36" tall, finally. But lost weight, again. She's 26 lbs. 1 oz. She has a cold, no surprise, but I think we've come to the conclusion she has asthma and will need to be on medicine now. Although this is totally no surprise to me I'm bummed. Being a preemie has hit her hard for being a nearly 29 weeker. Heck, I was only 2 oz. bigger than her when I was born at 30 weeks and I haven't dealt with what she's dealt with. It makes me sad and feel guilty at the same time.

On the bright side though we're working hard on our phonics and math and she's doing great. She can read a few words and what she can't read she can at least sound out phonetically and sometimes figures them out. She's really amazing me with the attention level she has for this.

Gross motor wise, well... she's really far behind. I see it more and more. She goes to gymnastics and can't do anything the 2 year olds can do. Her gait is really immature for a 3 year old, she can't/won't jump, can't/won't 'do' stairs and is very clumsy - to the point that I think she's a danger to herself. But, as her pediatrician pointed out, it's not delaying her advancement so we'll just let it 'get better'. Well how can it get better without help? I'm really concerned about it and don't feel I'm getting much help.

She still stutters, especially when asking a question, but apparently they don't do anything about it until age 5 and even then its done through the school system which is backlogged, under staffed and unorganized.

Daria is 7 months now and weighing in at a very hefty 19 lbs. She's in the 90th percentile for weight and 75th percentile for height - she's just a moose! She sits up on her own fully now, gets up on her hands and knees for crawling (but thank god doesn't do it yet), is experimenting with solid food and today she said 'mama'. She has the most infectious laugh and is totally a dream baby - sleeps well and hardly ever fusses. She nurses avidly and makes me so very happy - she's my sanity saver when Arianna is 'in a mood'.

What post would be complete without pictures of my babies? I took these last week at the Roger Williams Park Botanical Gardens.

I think I may have a little model on my hands...

Daria was a baby model for a photography workshop I did today. She's so yummy :)

Hyper Speed

My life is moving at hyper speed right now - I've had 9 photography clients this month and 2 workshops - I'm BEYOND swamped so I haven't had any updates. Life (and blogging) will return to its regularly scheduled programming soon.

Daria turned 6 months... where did the time go? Seriously, I miss my little baby... now she's my big baby. Last night at dinner I think she ate more than her sister did, no surprise there. LOL

Can you tell?

That I'm a 'Mom-With-A-Camera' yet?

5 months

Her beautiful chubby cheeks always make me smile - she's so amazing. At some point during her 4th month her demeanor started to change and I started to like her (*grin*) She was not as whiney anymore and definitely more interactive. I love this phase!

She weighed in at 16 lbs. even at her 4 month appointment... for reference Arianna weighed 17 lbs. at one YEAR.

Picture Post

"Mom, I said stop taking my picture!"

Enjoying an 'adult' conversation after dinner - when did she get so big?

Goodbye 2008!

2008 was amazing!

* Daria arrived
* Arianna thrived and learned so much
* I left my job
* Hubby got a new job
* We paid off lots of debt
* We saw family we don't see often (hubby's family came to visit after dd was born)

I can't wait to see what 2009 has in store for us!

This is my favorite part of 2008!

Happy New Year everyone!

Wordless Wednesday

My new 'day'

Its pretty strange not working anymore. I no longer end my day with the dread of another day at the office. Now I end my day with the dread of another day at home... just kidding!

I love being home with my girls - seriously. It's much harder than I thought it would be, but I'm really really enjoying it. I love working on all sorts of things with Arianna and I LOVE LOVE LOVE being able to nurse Daria whenever she wants. If I pull out the breastpump its only to pump a bottle for hubby to feed to her on the nights when he gets up with her. I love the ease of a nursing baby - its wonderful!

Our days are so different than pre-Daria. I actually joined several mom's groups in my area and 2 or 3 days a week we have a playgroup with other kids. Unfortunately most of the groups are younger kids, but its kids non the less. I'm trying to find a group with kids Arianna's age but it hasn't been easy. Daria will have lots of friends through these groups though!

I get to make nutritious meals for my family and get to work on school type stuff with Arianna (which is going very well - within the next few weeks I'll have video of Arianna reading her first book!!!!) and I get to eliminate alot of the 'household stress' that inundated me when I was working. Of course, not all of it gets done but I do have opportunities.

This winter will be tough - Arianna needs more interaction with children and this is the first winter we're able to do something about it. Previously we were on house lockdown due to illness so its new to us. I actually had to go buy snowpants! I didn't realize that there's a season for that sort of stuff, and its passed. I ended up going to a ski shop to get them and I still can't find boots ANYWHERE!

I'm really enjoying being home with my girls and I know I'll enjoy it even more as the days go by and Daria is more independent. We're closer to that though - not only is she sleeping in her own room but has slept through the night, in its entirety, twice! Woo HOO for Mommy!!

We're back!

Lots of pictures to share but no time to type up a full synopsis - so pictures will have to 'hold you over' until then! :)

Playgroups...

Today I took the girls to our first playdate with a local moms group I found. The meeting location was only around the corner at a local farm. The lady that owns it puts on a story time/craft time every tuesday morning at 9:30 AM (I, of course, thought it was 9 AM so we had to wait 15 min. for anyone to even show up). Best part was it was free. Since Arianna loves nothing more than to read books these types of events are great for her.

They read a book about dinosaurs who eat alot and then read a book (and for the life of me I can't remember the name, its a well known book) about an old woman who ate lots of food at Thanksgiving and then we made a paper bag puppet of the old woman and they gave us little cut outs of the all the food in the book for the puppet to 'eat'. Arianna LOVED this craft - she kept going back to get more food pieces instead of taking them out of her bag!

I was disappointed in the playgroup though. After the story time/craft time was over we all stuck around and as it turns out there wasn't another child there over 1 year old so I ended up spending all my time with Arianna, to Daria's dismay (poor kid, I really feel she gets the shaft 90% of the time). The organizer of the group assured me there really are more kids her age and I hope we meet them soon. I really felt out of place - one kid too old and one kid too young. The worst was when one mom asked me about my experience with Arianna introducing food. I hate going into too much detail about her with people I don't know...

Do I tell her we didn't introduce solid foods until 10 months because her reflux was so bad? Do I tell her we didn't use formula and I pumped for 13 months (some moms are sensitive to that for some reason)? Do I tell her about her prematurity and her failure to thrive? Do I tell her she's 32 months when she hardly looks old enough to be 2?

This is hard for me. I love my daughter and I don't want to say anything that will change people's opinion of her before they even know her.

Arianna did really well the entire time - only throwing one small fit before story time began and I was able to get her to calm down before her 'drama queen pose'. I was really proud of her... but disappointed that there were no kids for her to play with.

Daria also did fabulously - didn't cry once and even sat on my lap being very cute for a while. She was extra good when I took Arianna to the bathroom - everyone said she didn't cry at all. Very nice to hear!

I really hope that the next playdate has some more kids her age to interact with.

10 weeks...

Isn't she the cutest?

It's been fun trying to adjust to having a full term kiddo. It really is like starting over in so many ways.

At this weight/ height Arianna was sitting up, laughing, rolling over etc. I find myself sometimes getting annoyed that Daria still can't even reliably hold her head up when I carry her. I have to keep reminding myself that at 10 weeks she doesn't have to have it mastered yet!

She did surprise me this morning though - she rolled from her tummy to her back. Although I wasn't here, last night Dad said she laughed at him! She smiles and coos tons and its so wonderful to see/hear. Although Arianna had a great laugh she never coo'ed really.

I see so many differences between her and Arianna now - they look very little alike (even in Arianna's baby pictures) now. Arianna has HUGE eyes compared to Daria, yet they seem to share a nose and mouth. We think Daria's eyes will be brown while Arianna's are blue (Dad is brown, mom is blue). Daria doesn't like to be left alone for long whereas as long as Arianna was fed and changed you could put her down and leave her there ALL day - seriously.

Like her sister she seems to LOVE books - I'm looking forward to sharing more of them with them as they get older.

As far as the colic goes - she's getting so much better. Night time isn't bad at all now - she still gets up 2 times to eat but she's such a stellar breastfeeder that its so easy. I can't imagine pumping and doing bottles like we did with Arianna! This really is so much easier.

She seems to be getting into a routine as far as her nappipng is concerned too. I usually get about an hour to an hour and a half of quiet time during the day when both girls nap - its how I get to get on here and write about my lovely girls!

2 more weeks...

Supposadly in two more weeks Daria should be out of the 'colic phase'.

I can't even tell you how over due this is. I don't get even an hours break during the day...

I feel bad that I just have to let her scream much of the time - if I didn't I wouldn't get anything done! I just hope she holds true to what the doctors say and starts calming down at 3 months of age!

Next is sleeping through the night! At least she doesn't scream at night anymore - feed her and she goes back to sleep, thank goodness!

Happy Halloween!

Last night I took the girls to my parents house to do some 'trick or treat'ing in their neighborhood (which is easier to walk than our neighborhood). Coincidently we had tons of trick or treaters in our neighborhood hubby said, but Arianna would be the only one that would visit my parents and their neighbors homes.

Anyway, here's some pictures for your viewing pleasure :)

Daria, as a peapod

The 'Ok, enough pictures Mom!' look

Arianna as a pink poodle

My beautiful babies!

One of those days...

I'm not sure if it's the fact that its raining and windy outside (throwing millions of leaves on my lawn that I'll have to spend alot of time cleaning up this weekend), the fact that Daria was up 5 times last night, the fact that Arianna didn't get a great sleep last night either or what... but today is an unusually hard day for me.

Daria was so lovely yesterday - it was so nice. My parents treated me to an early birthday present and gave me some money to get clothes. I got 4 sweaters and 3 pairs of pants at Kohl's while they watched Arianna for me. My mom found great tops for me and DeeDee was such a doll the whole day - she was wonderful, for a change. Last night was a different story.

Arianna didn't nap yesterday and was playing really hard with me and my dad at the mall yesterday (running ALL over the place) so she was wiped out come 5 PM, but it was much too late to nap of course, so she stayed awake being a total brat until I put her to bed at 7 PM - but not before she physically abused my poor elderly cat TiSan! She kicked him hard into the basement door and I couldn't even get him to come near me all night. I don't usually advocate spanking a child but this is a problem we've been dealing with with Arianna for a while now - she loves to use her feet/legs to 'interact' with the cats. Well, this time she really hurt him and I let her know what that feels like and then put her in 'time out' for 5 minutes. She was totally hysterical and quickly went to bed afterwards... thank goodness.

8:30 PM I went to go check on her - she was asleep behind the door and opening the door woke her up. 11 PM same thing. Dad went to bed at 1:30 AM and she was again behind the door. She's been really good about this since we got her her new 'big girl bed' and had been sleeping in it but I blame the busy day and extreme tiredness on how she slept, and thus, how she was acting this morning (super whiny).

As soon as Arianna went to bed Daria went on a binge - she ate clear through to 10 PM and then nursed for 40 minutes(!!) when we went to bed at 10:30. So why is it that she would nurse 4 seperate times during the night? She's supposed to be going longer at night, no hording up for the next day! I am really tired of this!! On top of that she's been crying/whining all day today too! Grrr...

Trying to do schoolwork with Arianna today wasn't easy. I took away markers when she started coloring on the table and she screamed and screamed until she woke up her sister (who was taking on of her very short 4 min. 'cat naps') and then the two of them were screaming.

I'm not kidding - I locked myself in the bathroom and cried. Why do I feel so inadequate at this? Why do I let a 2 year old and a 2 month old do this to me?

Why? Because I want to be a great mom and when I can't control my anger/annoyance with Arianna or my patience with Daria I feel very sad - I need to do better, but then again, I'm learning too.