Picture Post

I don't remember giving her permission to become a 'big girl' *sob*

This is just precious - Arianna's favorite thing in the world, books!

My little snow bunny

What is it...

...about a temper tantrum that turns your view of your perfect child into one of 'oh my god, get me out of here!'

I think we've hit the 'terrible twos' about a month early. Everything is an excuse for Arianna to erupt into tears... not just tears but sobs with hyperventilating. It's quite pathetic actually. Yesterday I wouldn't let her into the pantry to play with my spice bottles - she's recently learned how to open them and dump them on the cats (my poor fur babies put up with so much). Being blocked out of the pantry was cause for an eruption and she slapped me in the face!! That ended with her in her crib (she didn't nap well, maybe she was tired). About 30 minutes later she was very quiet and I hear "mama! mama! wowry! mama! mama!".

That's enough to melt your heart I tell ya! How is it after 30 minutes she realized she did something wrong and had to say sorry? It's so darn cute you can't stay mad!

Our time out routine includes saying sorry afterwards - guess its rubbing off. I like her new independence and am glad she's going to daycare full time soon - its a good time for her to get more interaction.

Week 2...

Today marks week 2 that Arianna has gone to home daycare. She goes on Monday's, for the time being.

Her first day went very well. I really like the daycare because its super kid friendly (mom is an ex-teacher and mom to a little boy same age as Ari) and has kid sized tables, chairs, sinks etc. Arianna enjoyed eating and drinking with the two other kids and Karah (the teacher) told me that she kept getting up to go wash her hands! I have no clue where that came from! She actually ended up eating more than day than the two other little boys that were there! On top of that she left her first day with her very first piece of 'art work'- a turtle she colored (aka scribbled on). I was really touched by it. Karah also had the kids help her make peach cobbler (which was their afternoon snack too) and she said Arianna LOVED cooking! Again, no clue where this came from as we have a serious 'cooking phobia' in our house. I'm glad we found Karah and are very comfortable with Arianna going full time in a few weeks - just wish it wasn't so far away so that she wouldn't have to get up at 6:30 AM...

Saturday was Karah's little boys birthday and we went to it. Karah found some corn starch packing peanuts and she FILLED one of the rooms with the packing peanuts for the kids to play in. Arianna literally just stood there - it was kinda sad actually. I was right next to her and I would dump some of the peanuts on her head and she giggled but didn't really play with it. She did love the balloons though and Karah gave her a special one with a spoon tied to it (Arianna has a strange love affair with spoons) and she was happy. As the party went on we watched her open up but she never really started playing. She's the youngest one there so we're not concerned about her interaction but at least it didn't scare her!

We had her annual EI Evaluation last Thursday - it went ok. It was very late in the day (4:30 - 6:30 PM) and she was hungry so she wasn't as cooperative as she could have been. I won't know how she did until sometime this week. I don't imagine she'll continue to qualify for services though. We meet with her nutritionist in a few weeks and I'm guessing she'll be released then - she's eating WONDERFULLY!

My husband is hoping to hear about two potential job offers today. One of them would suck but will probably pay more than we're expecting - but we have to way the 'is it worth it' factor. The job is in downtown Boston (Congress St.) so it would be a 3 hour commute every day and the hours are 9 - 6 PM meaning that he would be leaving the house at 6:30 AM and returning after 7:30 - when Arianna goes to bed. I really hope he doesn't take that one. The other is closer to home and the one we're clinging to right now - hoping it pays. I really hate this job searching stuff... way too much stress!

Smack us while we're down why don't ya!

You can't NOT take a job offer if it's the only one you've got. That would be stupid.

But, so far, the only offer my husband has had for work has been for $20,000 less than what his level of experience and the area we live in dictates (and even that number is still very conservative). Yes, you read that right. The offer came on the same day he interviewed for a very small software company around the corner, practically, from our house. The owner promises bonus' and an increase in salary by September but we know that the only thing 'guaranteed' in a new job is the starting salary and the starting salary is a joke for someone with nearly 10 years of great experience.

I feel very ungrateful that I'm so upset about the turn in events here. I should just be happy that he doesn't have to file for unemployment.

We told our nanny, Sarah, of the possibility of Shawn being out of work in a few weeks - more out of courtesy than anything. We really didn't feel that we would have to say goodbye to her as Shawn was getting SO many interviews.

Last night he accepted this new position, to start 2/18, and shortly thereafter Sarah called to tell us that she got her dream job and would be leaving us in two weeks. She's a nursing student, graduating with her AS degree in May. She wants to be an OB/Gyn nurse and found an office that will allow her to work part time AND offer tuition reimbursement for her to continue for her RN. She's stupid to not take it. I'm sad... crushed actually. Arianna LOVES Sarah. We LOVE Sarah. She was going to be my life line this summer when I'm sure to be on bedrest.

Shawn is still interviewing and the owner of the company where he accepted the offer would be foolish to not realize that he will still be looking. The salary is low and she wouldn't budge despite two attempts to negotiate.

Maybe my mood will increase if I can start feeling like a normal person again... but that's AT LEAST a month away. At least I haven't vomitted in a few days. The sad part of morning sickness as opposed to 'regular' sickness is that vomitting doesn't make you feel better... at all.

Cautiously Optomistic...

Yesterday we met with Arianna's nutritionist and received many accolades on our work with her - she's doing great. We didn't weigh her at her first visit 2 weeks ago but did weigh her today using the weight from the GI office from 3 weeks ago. She's lost 12 ounces. Hmm... I know different scales can have different weights but 12 ounces seems like a lot. I won't worry until the next appointment and just be happy she eats everything now.

Shawn has 4 interviews this week and next. First one was this morning. We've got our fingers crossed that at least one pans out!

Our cruise is 7 weeks away. Hopefully Shawn has a new job by then so we can actually enjoy it...

I hope either way I can enjoy it. I'm feeling like I got hit by a car, had my stomach ripped out and put back in, my head slammed into a vice for hours a day, my nose stuffed with cotton and my tongue scrapped with a brillo pad - all at once. I feel so ill I just want to sleep the next 7 weeks away... I can't concentrate at work cause I feel like such crap. I forgot how much this part of pregnancy sucks. Oh well...

Remember?

Remember my cute video of my hubby's reaction to the news?

Remember what he said?

He had good reason to be worried I guess... today we found out his contract will not be renewed.

Super yucky timing... Ok, I'll say it. Super shitty timing...

Does premature birth run in your family?

Premature birth runs in my family - My grandmother had many problems
carrying to term resulting in several deaths, I was born at 30 weeks,
my brother at 34 weeks and my daughter at 28 weeks.

There is a study at Washington University School of Medicine that is
recruiting people that have a familial history of preterm birth.

If you have a familial history PLEASE sign up for the study. It
involves 2 parts - a questionnaire and a DNA sample (via saliva).

http://fetalstudy.wustl.edu/fetal/fetalp.nsf/

I hope you can all agree that it would give all preemie moms great joy
to know they helped further the study of why preterm birth occurs and
possibly find an answer!

We're on a roll!

This morning Arianna asked for breakfast.

Yes, she tugged on Shawn's pant leg while he was making her a scrambled egg saying "uh yum yum, uh yum yum!".

She's never done that!

We're on a roll!!! WOo HoO!

She's getting so big now... it's making me cry!

a question for moms...

Moms of 2 or more...

can you sneak over to my pregnancy blog and answer a question I posed in my latest post? I need some reassurance so I can sleep tonight...

Season of change

The last few days have been surreal here. I really feel like I'm living an out of body experience.

Yesterday Arianna ate pineapple at lunch and refried beans and hamburger at dinner. This morning she had blueberries with her cherrios and baked fish at dinner. Then she proceeded to grab my hand, wave at Dad while saying "bye bye! nigh nigh dada!" and pull me back to her bedroom so I could lift her up into her crib for bed. She wouldn't even let me read her bed time story.

What kid tells you when they want to go to bed and goes from eating NOTHING to eating everything in just a few days? I really am living in a surreal world here.

To top it off... she hasn't had Prevacid in 3 days (mostly due to us forgetting with all the food changes) and hasn't complained.

To add to the mass confusion here my mother dropped a bomb on us. When Ari was super sick in daycare last year my parents graciously took her in for 7 weeks while we got her through the winter and gaining weight again.

When it was time to send her back to daycare my mom requested one day a week - she wanted to watch her granddaughter one day. Ok... sounds good to us.

Then we took her out of daycare and hired a nanny - Mom still wants to watch her so we found a nanny that only worked 4 days a week and we LOVE Sarah! Well... last week my Mom said she wasn't going to watch her anymore - totally out of the blue. No "I'll watch her until you can find other arrangements", no "I just need a few weeks off" just that she couldn't watch her anymore.

I know I should be thankful for all time she has watched her but I'm very resentful of this sudden change in plans... so I've been calling around trying to find some place to take her for 1 day. I'd actually like her to get interaction with other kids and Monday would be a good day of the week for that - long time to recover from illness' she's bound to get.

But every place has a 2 day minimum!

I put an add on craigslist and a lady with a licensed home based daycare replied. She has a little boy that's just a little older than Arianna and on Monday's she also watched another little boy just a few weeks younger than Arianna - so she'd get to play with two kids - how fun!

We're going to interview her on Saturday and hope for the best!

I need some antacids... I can't take all this change anymore.

So... she drinks too much

We met with Arianna's new nutritionist last night. I asked her nanny to plan on staying late so that the two of us could present our experiences with Arianna and eating.

The conclusion - she drinks too much and it's filling her up.

Um.. ok, I feel stupid.

When we started transitioning Arianna to solid food she was drinking the bare minimum of breast milk: 18 - 20 ounces a day via bottle. I was very concerned of starting solid food because she already didn't drink enough. I never though I would hear the day that she drinks too much milk. I did alot of research and everything I read, at the time said that food was simply in ADDITION to the milk she was already taking in. So our solution was to let her drink everything she wanted, through out the day. Currently she is drinking 30+ ounces a day of milk/eggnog/apple juice/PediaSure. We let her drink all she wants. As a matter of fact the only 'food' she will ask for is her 'baba' (sippy cup). We will usually leave a full 12 oz. sippy cup of apple juice in her crib at night and it will be gone in the morning.

So... the nutritionist is having us do some big changes.

1. No eating in front of the TV
2. Set a time limit to the meal
3. Make her eat what we eat but offer one food we know she will eat
4. No sippy cups in the crib
5. No sippy cups outside of meal time
6. She always eats at the table with at least one other person
7. No distractions and include her in conversation
8. When she starts fussing or playing with her food - she's done.
   

We will continue to fortify her meals with extra fat/calories and meet with her again in 2 weeks. She anticipates that it will take a 'few days' for her to catch on that the only time she can eat/drink is meal time but when she does we will see a drastic improvement in her eating and self-feeding ability.

I hope it works. This morning we got her out of the crib, she immediately started with "elmo, baba, baba" because she's used to eating breakfast while watching elmo. Shawn made toast while I got her changed and we sat her in the high chair with 1/4 of a piece of toast (one toddler serving out of the 4 per day she should get, btw) while we all sat at the table. She also got a container of Le Creme yogurt and a small sippy cup of milk. She drank the milk, played with the toast and had 3 spoonfuls of yogurt...

I'm optimistic and hopeful. I also feel a bit like a failure because this is common sense stuff and we've been doing the exact opposite for over a year...

I wish kids came with a manual, seriously.

UPDATE:

Talked to the nanny...

...SHE'S EATING!! SHE ATE A SNACK AT 9:30 AND PART OF HER LUNCH AT 11:30!!!

I feel like crying... doesn't take much these days, of course.

She's not hungry...

Yesterday was a bad eating day. In her defense she got a flu shot and had an appointment with Audiology, both of which had her crying uncontrollably.

We realized something the last few days. She not hungry. EVER. Even as an infant (as seen in this picture ->)

Arianna has never told us when she wants to eat. Once she starts eating she'll say 'more'... but she has never initiated the eating process. She eats wonderfully when we put her in front of the TV - but that's because she doesn't notice us shoving full fat foods into her mouth.

I would think that, by age 2, a child would be a pretty self sufficient 'self feeder'. They will take food and put it into their mouth, or will use a spoon and eat with it - right?

Arianna does neither of these things - we have to sit with her and hand feed her every meal. If I give her the spoon or leave finger foods with her she'll throw them. Her nanny and I are convinced that she'd go all day without eating...

The craziest part is that she put on 3 lbs. since her GI appiontment in October. I know this is due to the eggnog we were stuffing her with - but you can't get eggnog in the store anymore.

She really has me frustrated. I'm also tired lately so I know that has alot to do with my patience concerning her eating but I would think it would get EASIER and not harder.

At least she would hold and drink her own bottle as an infant...

What do you do to get your child to eat? I'm open to all ideas because I'm at my wits end...

Can I ask for some prayers?

I just found out my baby brother fell off a roof he was working on today. He's going into surgery soon to repair he crushed tib/fib but they're also doing an MRI to check for damage to his spine...

I don't know much else - I'm waiting on his fiance to call me back, but please keep him in your prayers tonight!

Thanks!


UPDATE:

I'm going to personally wring his neck...

He had surgery this afternoon. They were going to place a rod in his leg but ended up doing several plates and a few screws.

Surgery took 1.5 hours more than expected because his oxygen saturations levels kept dipping to the 60s. His surgeon told his fiance that "we had several close calls". A normal healthy 27 year old wouldn't have this happen to them.

Except one with severe asthma who smokes a pack a day!

Like he hasn't listened to us tell him what a stupid idiot he is for smoking all these years... I hope this is his wake up call!

I'm going to personally wring his neck... and then give him huge hugs and kisses

When will it get better?

She's slipping again... and she's not sick. This is new territory for us and I don't know what to do.

Arianna has pretty much stopped eating. It's a struggle to get her to eat anyway but now its close to impossible. Last night for dinner she had 1/4 of an egg with cheese and force fed ice cream. This morning she was offered a cheese stick, didn't eat much and won't eat anything for my parents.

She's going on two in a few weeks - when does it get better? When will she eat a cookie like normal babies?

Thankfully she see's GI today but I don't expect much change. I put 9 month pants on her this weekend. They fit beautifully...

... but she's 22 months!

Breaking the news...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vbZsQy2nx4


And yes, he's happy about it...now

Genetics

I finally got in to see Genetics on Wednesday. Dr. Shur got pre-authorization from my insurance company to submit blood tests to the company that tests for 5 of the 7 genes associated with Long QT Syndrome.

She also found a lab at John Hopkins that we could submit to that would test for Long QT 7 (aka Andersen-Tawil syndrome).

She asked me which I wanted to be submitted for first. Depending on the results of the first we could then submit for the second. After much discussion/debate we submitted to John Hopkins first because she feels I better fit LQT7 based on my 'physical features' than the other LQT genes. I don't necessarily agree but figure we might as well cover all our bases and test for everything available.

Andersen-Tawil syndrome affects the heart, symptoms are a disruption in the rhythm of the heart's lower chambers (ventricular arrhythmia) in addition to the symptoms of long QT syndrome. There are also physical abnormalities associated with Andersen-Tawil syndrome, these typically affect the head, face, and limbs. These features often include an unusually small lower jaw (micrognathia), low-set ears, and an abnormal curvature of the fingers called clinodactyly.

I don't have well... any of that other than a ventricular arrhythmia. But she's the geneticist so who am I to argue?

I left her office and went down to the blood lab totally ready to get poked 95 times like I always am, but the phlebotomist was really good (and younger than me, I still have to get used to the fact that I'm not as young as I used to be) and got it on the first try!

Boy was I impressed!

Now we wait 4 to 6 weeks and if the results come back negative (which I'm fully expecting them to) then we draw again and its another 4 to 6 weeks (and $5000 my insurance company has to shell out) for the other test.

If they all come back negative we're left right where we are now - no answers. Just because they don't find a documented gene in me doesn't mean I don't have LQT Syndrome - it just means they haven't found it yet and we still have to guess if Arianna has it. Guessing with LQTS is bad... cause if you guess wrong you don't always get another chance to make it right, and as a parent, thats the scariest place to be.

5 years

Tomorrow makes 5 years that I've been married to my wonderful husband, Shawn.

He is, quite possibly, the ONLY person in the world that could put up with me. I'm a bitch... ask my family and friends! LOL Yet he manages to put up with me and all my faults and doesn't dwell on them.

Not only that but he's the most amazing father Arianna could ask for. I'm a great mom, but its only because he's a great father - he knows when I've had enough and steps up to the plate to take over, thus allowing me the time I need to decompress.

I don't think I could have asked to meet a nicer person in a chat room in 1999. Hard to believe he first moved in with me 8 years ago...

So to celebrate our 5 year anniversary I got him this present. I think I'll give it to him tonight.

Do you think he'll like it? I hope so!

Public access to NIH research!

Public access to NIH research


FINALLY!!!

I don't have to pay money for abstracts anymore - I can get access to NIH funded research when I want!

This is HUGE folks... really huge. I no longer have to wait years to find out what LQTS research has been going on. I no longer have to wait years to find out what new prematurity related research is done...

Huge, really huge!!!!

Christmas!

Sorry for the long delay I had a big problem with my camera - I accidentally formated the memory card without taking the pictures off! I had to spend some cash to get them back, but I got them, finally!

The day started out wonderfully - Ari slept in! (slightly) We got up around 8 o'clock and I
got her out of her crib and changed her diaper while Shawn ran to get the video camera.

Here's video of her opening her presents:

Arianna opening her presents

After that she had a small breakfast (just yogurt) and then off to the bath for a much needed wash down. She looked irresistably cute and these shots were the first one's I took with my new Canon 50 mm f/1.8 II camera lens:




Then it was off to my parents (with a short detour at my friend Karen's to drop off her christmas gift) for dinner/gifts. We got there about 10:30 AM and hung around for about an hour as other folks started arriving and then it was Arianna's nap. She looked super cute in her dress and even more so when it was covered in tears from her screaming, at the top of her lungs, when I put her into the crib to nap. She eventually fell asleep and the rest of us could open our presents in peace.

When she did get up we opened her gifts and she was thrilled - her favorites were the rocking horse and the tea party set:


Then we had a fabulous meal (which included this ham, doesn't it look yummy? It sure tasted it! Add mustard pickles... hmm hmmm hmmm):


Arianna didn't eat well at all but we kept pumping egg nog into her and that probably filled her up. I really wish she'd take to eating better but I'm not sure how to make sure her weight stays up while she focuses on eating vs. drinking her calories.... sigh.

After a few hours at my parents we trotted over to my brother's girlfriend (fiancee now?) house to open more presents. I got this great picture of Amanda and Arianna, I just love it:


We stayed there for about an hour and then drove to Quincy to visit with my grandmother/aunts/cousins. At this stop Arianna thought it would be fabulous to throw up on my nana's rug. For anyone that knows my nana... this is really embarassing. But I cleaned it up and got her changed and she didn't seem any the weary. I snapped these cute pictures of Arianna with her cousin Samantha:


Then it was home about 7:30 PM - Arianna fell asleep in the car before we even got back on the highway. She was darn cute the whole day though :)

Of course, the next 10 days will be consumed with her barely eating. Tonight concluded with a beautiful vomit fest on the kitchen floor. Amazingly she goes right back to playing!

On the plus side, Santa must have really liked me this year cause I got great stuff:

• Speedlite 430EX, 8 batteries and charger for it
• 50mm f/1.8 - I'm in love!!
• Cactus wireless camera trigger
• Sto-Fen Omnibounce for flash
  
• Sunpak Tripod
• Extra camera batteries (2)
• New bag - Canon backpack
• Bunch of clothes from the 'rents
• Foodsaver system (gotta start saving money to buy my new studio lights!)

Phew... Goodbye 2007!

Happy new year (this took a long time to write!). I'm going to bed now! *yawn*

Cruiser ignorance...

Post I made on a cruise message board:

Hello,

Has anyone cruised with young children? My daughter is 2 and a fairly picky eater - thankfully we've been trying to get weight on her so feeding her the usual kid food fare (mac n cheese, chicken nuggets etc.) is usually pretty good - except that what works one night doesn't necessarily work for another. If she doesn't eat what we ask for her can we ask for something else?

Jen

Response:

What ever happened to kids eating what their parents told them to eat, within reason. My parents made me eat stuff I didn't like, but I ate it until my mom smartened up and realized that making us eat turnips will not work, nor will trying to make me eat tomatoes work. I still do not like tomatoes, tomato sauce (seasoned) I will eat.

Don't let your child win, make them eat what you want within reason....kids have to learn they can't dictate what they want when it isn't on the menu!!!!

Come on preemie moms - wanna get a good laugh with me?

That's funny... sort of.

Armchair quarterbacking someone parenting is easy to do... I know, I used to do it.

Still in shock...

Guess who went poo poo on the potty tonight?

Ya... I'm still in shock too!!

Some pictures!

I have a huge post about our Christmas but I'm swamped at work and can't write it up right now... so for now you can check out some pictures of Arianna from Christmas Day.

One of my gifts included a new lens for my camera - a 50 mm f/1.8 and I'm in LOVE!!

Visiting Santa

2006

Isn't she the cutest?

2007

before
during after

Aww, isn't she the cutest?

Not even breaking out the ELMO doll was enough to keep her happy on Santa's lap this year. Maybe it was the lack of a dress? Ya, that's it...

Thoughts for Thursday

I'm having a hard time breaking through a blogger block lately. Probably because I have SO much going on right now.

- Thank god my christmas shopping is 90% done. It's hard when the majority of your christmas list is on the other side of the country and you have to buy shipping boxes and supplies and remember to get everything out on time for christmas. I just have my mom to buy for now and then I'm DONE!

- I think I'm setting a new world record for the number of FOR loops I can put in an application. I'm working on an 'in house' application that is taking a long time and my work flow is causing me to use alot of FOR loops. I thought FOREACH was the end of be all in .NET but FOR is working much better right now... so I'm setting a new world record - every method has a FOR in it! ha!

- I've put on some weight from all the cookies here in the office but it is my goal to take it all off after the holdiays... but I feel even bigger than the few pounds that have crept on because I'm so bloated. Only woman can understand this. I had the IUD for 18 months - 14 of which had me bleeding EVERY DAMN DAY. Now that I've had it out I've been bloated and cramping and generally feeling like crap. Gosh... I hope all these wacky hormones work themselves out soon cause I'm in PAIN. I'll take bleeding every day versus PAIN.

- I'm getting so excited for the holidays because Arianna is just so much more aware of her place in the world now that it'll be fun to see her at christmas. Earlier this week I took her down to the basement while I did some laundry and she wandered into the room with the gifts and found a stuffed elmo I got for her. She picked it up, walked in to see me with a HUGE grin on her face, said "MELMO!!" and started kissing it! It was way too cute. I managed to get it away without her noticing so she can enjoy it at christmas time.

- She's putting on weight folks! I had to reschedule her GI appointment from last Thursday because we got a KILLER snowstorm and it's rescheduled for after the new year. I can't wait to see what she weighs cause she's got a little double chin and huge (for her) baby belly! WOO HOO!! GO EGG NOG!

- This is the only time of year I'll listen to Delilah. She's on the radio on the only station that plays good Christmas music this time of year. Normally I hate listening to her sappy stuff, but this time of year I get sentimental and love that stuff. I think I'm annoying my coworkers by playing christmas music all day long...

- I need to take pictures off my camera and spend less time learning how to use Photoshop CS2...

I don't know if I'll get more posts on here before Christmas, so HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY!

I am Legend

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

I went to the movies with my brother Friday night, something I haven't done in years.

We saw 'I am Legend' with Will Smith.

I really like scary movies and although the previews don't really come out and say it - this movie is about vampire-like people - so its a 'scary movie'.

I was intrigued by the movie within the first hour. There's a human engineered virus (which was supposed to 'cure cancer' and is both airborne and blood transmitted) that has wiped out 90% of the population, turned 9.9% into vampire-like people and .1% are 'immune'. Dogs are immune to the airborne transmission. Robert Neville, Will Smiths character, is the only surviving human in New York City (ground zero, where the virus was developed) and as far as he can tell, the entire world. He has flashbacks to the city's evacuation/destruction often, which tells you a little about the government's response to the virus.

When I worked at RI Hospital I was a member of the RI emergency management response committee - I was the secretary and took notes at all the meetings, it was fascinating. I met folks from RI EMS, heads of all the hospitals etc. and learned, more importantly, that we're not prepared for a '9/11' in this area. We are, however, better prepared than many areas of the country. You're never more than 7 minutes from a hospital here - which is the smallest interval IN THE COUNTRY. That, I thought, was pretty cool. My 'boss' was the head of the RIH emergency preparedness department (all 2 of us) and was also a member of the RI legislature and wrote a bill to refine legislation after the Station Night Club Fire that killed 100 people in W. Warwick, RI in 2003. Ironically, he was called to NYC to meet with officials there to help them be better prepared for another '9/11'. They felt they were no more prepared than the day after the original incident happened.

So I was really excited to see Hollywood's interpretation of how government would handle a mass virus spread like the one depicted in this movie.

Alas, I would have to wait... forever. After the first hour this movie tanked excitement wise and got really boring and 'hollywood-ish'. The ending was anti-climactic and overall the movie was really depressing.

The best character, in the movie, was the dog Samantha. The relationship between the main character and his dog was creepy/moving at the same time.

The funniest part of the movie was the dialog from when Will Smith found 'Hank' not where he thought he should be... until about 2 minutes after that discovery, of course.

I'm glad I saw it - I spent time with my brother, which I don't get to do much of now - and was entertained for an evening. If you have $10.50 to waste on a ticket - do it, its a good watch. If you have NETFLIX - put it on the top of your list when its released. Otherwise, wait for HBO.

I promise to blog more about my regular stuff soon - life is busy during the holidays!

Elmo

You'd think that we were the type of parents to just sit our child in front of the TV all day...

...but Arianna is head over heels in LOVE with Elmo.

It all started just a few weeks ago when she went to CA to visit 'mamaw'. My mother-in-law bought Ari a Elmo swivel chair which now sits in our living room. You press his hand and he 'talks' to you. Arianna looks very cute in it - she sits in it 'reading' books often.

Then the fall line up for our PBS station changed and now sesame street was on during breakfast. Arianna eats better when she's distracted so we frequently feed her while she watches tv - but she doesn't watch a lot of TV, mainly during meals.

I opened Pandora's box.

I got her an animated elmo christmas stocking to replace her 'baby's first christmas' one from last year. Its very 'top heavy' and she nearly knocks herself out swinging it around so we keep it on the table and she screams for it often. Last week I went to the library and got an elmo DVD. I wanted to see if she would like it and it would be a christmas gift... Now she can't even pass the cabinet with the dvd player without jumping out of my arms screaming 'MELMO!!!' The worst part is that if we don't put it on she will throw a tantrum and start crying! HUH? What have we done to our poor sweet princess? Elmo has turned her into... something we're not used to!

Shawn told me that this morning she was in her bedroom with the nanny when the elmo segment of sesame street came on. Now her bedroom is on the other end of the house and the TV is anything BUT loud... she started SCREECHING and RUNNING (yes, running!!) to the TV screaming 'MELMO!!!'

Do they have detox for toddlers hooked on Elmo? Seriously. I just want to go one day without her watching it. I miss the baby einstein days!

dreams...

Has this ever happened to any of you?

I've had a dream 'story' going on for days now - a continuation of a dream from the night before. It's gotten pretty elaborate now and I'm a bit skeeved out.

I get these dream stories often and they always involve me in a highly dramatic event during which I die or come very close to it - very scary. The worst part is that it goes on for days!

I wonder if its a premonition?

If you suddenly hear of a woman robbing a bank and it shot and killed fleeing from police you'll know two things: 1. that I was incredibly stupid 2. that I had ESP

They're not going anywhere...

So Arianna is in the last stages of 'snot fest'. I brought her to the pediatrician earlier this week and was given an antihistamine for her nose - she was surprisingly good though the whole appointment. I put her on the scale just before we left, clothes and all and she was 22.4 lbs! So without clothes she should be AT LEAST 21.5 which would be a gain of 1.5 in a bit more than 2 months. Not fantastic, but I'll take it - its been horrible to get her to gain weight despite a concerted effort of nutritionist/nanny/parents/grandparents, cases of pediasure and GALLONS of eggnog (I'm totally not kidding on that last one).

We had our visit with our EI caseworker yesterday and she reminded me we're coming up on Arianna's review. She's doing well as far as EI is concerned and I'm fully expecting her to be dismissed at her review...

Wendy, her caseworker, told me that because of her failure to thrive diagnosis (which won't leave anytime soon, obviously) she qualifies for services indefinitely and in RI would qualify for an IEP and cost free preschool next fall (if she is still failure to thrive). This would be wonderful as preschool is expensive here... but I almost feel like I'm abusing the system. Arianna hasn't had any actual services, ever. We meet with Wendy once a month and play with toys and Ari always does exactly what she should - and actually with fine motor/cognition she is ahead, yesterday she put together a Mr. potato head, hat and all! She was evaluated by PT a few months ago and didn't qualify. Nutrition met with me once in the early summer and said 'yep, you know what you're doing'... she had OT when she was 4 months as I had real concerns over her lack of suck (thus the end of my attempt at direct breastfeeding and continuation of 13 months of pumping) but she's done well and Wendy doesn't think there is much OT will be able to help us with as Arianna eats a variety of textures, just not a lot in any one session, which we all believe is due to her reflux.

So Arianna doesn't use EI except to watch for problems - I can withdraw her if I feel its necessary. When I see Arianna with her peers I don't worry too much about her at this point - socially she handles all interactions well (even that evil little boy at the pediatricians office who wouldn't share). I know she needs more interaction with her peers but weighing that need vs. her health needs has proven tricky - for now we're taking the safe route and will try to keep her out of the hospital this winter.

Socially/Personally I have real issue with people 'abusing the system' and I don't want to fall into that category - but I pay taxes so I should be able to use it and if it will help Arianna I should just do it right? The preschool she would go to would be the town run one and you can only get into it with an IEP so she won't be with 'normally developing' children - so is there an advantage to her going there if the only reason she'd have an IEP is that she can't gain weight?

Then in the back of my head I think "my parents never had to deal with this and Arianna is doing better than I was...". But again my biggest concern for Arianna, right now, is social development...

I never thought, when I was pregnant, that I would have to think about these things. It's really not a big deal and many would be envious of our position, its just totally unfamiliar to me and I'm not exactly sure what the best answer is...

Too cute not to share

I'm stealing this from Jess... Her kids were so cute I had to!

Elf Arianna!



hehe - my dad's gonna bust a gut laughing...

Ugh!

Arianna's nanny just called to say she has 'green stuff' coming out of her nose, is hacking up a lung, and has been really lethargic all day.

'green stuff' was always a precursor to one of her dozen or so ear infections - only now she has ear tubes so you're not supposed to get those as easily. Thusly, I don't know how to deal with 'green stuff' anymore.

So rather than deal with the urgent care center tonight, if it turns out she really is sick, I'm taking her to her pediatricians office at 4:30 today.

I hate seeing my beautiful princess so miserable.

I know I could make everything better if I could give her the christmas gift I picked up for her today.... TMX Elmo... but that has to wait a few more weeks.

Poor baby! Keep her in your good thoughts today. We dealt with illness like this from October to May last year (with barely a break in between) and she was in the ER and room-in at the hospital quite a few times... we don't want a repeat!

Thanks!

New ticker!

Although I'm not losing weight, I'm maintaining ok (and just ok)...

So I thought I'd put up a new ticker for our big vacation! Woo Hoo! I'm very excited for it!

Arianna has a nasty cold and I feel so bad for her, she won't eat and can't really sleep well either. She's all stuffed up and yesterday she developed a cough. I hate seeing my baby sick because she gets so miserable. Truth be told I'm glad its the nanny dealing with that today - last night she was driving me up the wall with the whining and crying all the time. It really starts to grate on your nerves after 30 minutes.

Poor baby! (and poor mommy and daddy!)

The real reason I can't get the christmas tree up...

Photo of the day

awww... isn't it precious?
Arianna didn't want to take pictures with her great-grandma.

I really love...

...getting good news!

Yesterday I took Arianna to a follow up appointment with Dr. Donahue her eye doctor. We last saw him in May.

The appointment was for 3 PM and I had the nanny drop her off at my work for 2:15. I figured that would give me plenty of time to navigate the disaster that is I-195 and find my way through Wayland Square.

I got off the exit at 2:30, I was actually going to be early, for once! Not so... as I would spend the next 25 minutes navigating the streets around Brown University to TRY and find my way to the doctors office. I just can't break my 'late for my own party' streak...

I'll start out by saying my girl is such a tropper. She cried when the drops were put into her eyes (more so because we held her down) but was a perfect ANGEL from then on. She played nicely in the waiting room and sat quietly on my lap when Dr. Donahue met with us.

She's my hero. Especially considering there was a 7 year old girl in the waiting room who was in absolute TEARS for 15 minutes after they put the drops in her eyes - and wanted to be picked up by mommmy.

The best news? No signs of a turn in any way/shape/form and if its not evident in another 6 months, we're free and clear!!! He was very surprised her eyes were doing so well.

I couldn't be happier!

Party Time!

On Sunday I'm having a party!

My friend Megan's cutie pie Kaitlyn is having a birthday party earlier in the day but then I have to RUN home to set up for my candle party!

My friend Joanne had a PartyLite party a few weeks ago and I decided to have one too - if anything as a reason to get folks together. There actually isn't much in the catalog that I want but I do love to get people together and chit chat.

I invited a dozen or so people and only 5 will be coming, but thats ok. I'll have my tree and other christmas decorations up so the house will look nice (or as nice as it can with an unfinished kitchen).

I hope to get this if I have enough sales!

Picture quality stinks but its a snowglobe 'city' and you put a tealight candle in the globe...

Keeping Arianna out of everyone's hair during the party should be interesting... her new favorite word is 'dow' (for 'down') which can mean pick me up or put me down - which she does constantly and will scream quickly if you don't obey ;-)

oh the irony...

In my office we all have this cartoon printed and hung on the walls of our cubicles (click to make it bigger so you can read it)...
oh the irony...

Food Seasons

I've noticed I eat in food seasons...

Fall/winter I eat soup where in the summer I hardly eat soup. Same goes for tea (and I'm a tea nazi!). In the summer I eat lots of salads, where I don't in the winter.

I'm sitting here at work enjoying a FABULOUS breakfast:

• Cranberry Thomas English Muffin
• Whipped honey butter
• 1/2 c. fat free cottage cheese with pineapple
• Celestial Seasonings Gingerbread Spice Herbal Tea with fresh honey (from my friend Brenda's apiary!)

And it made me realize I'm enjoying my fall foods... cranberry english muffins are only available in the fall and gingerbread spice herbal tea is only available until christmas. The cottage cheese I can eat any time of year but I don't do alot of it in the summer months.

Hopefully I can introduce Arianna to some of my favorite foods too - then we can share in the joy together! Of course, just getting her to sit still and eat would be a miracle...

Can't wait for christmas - egg nog, mince meat pie and fruit cake! ya!!!

(Yes, I think I'm the only person IN THE WORLD that actually really loves fruit cake...)

Picture of the day

Our cat Misty, looking very longingly out the window.

Please Vote for your Favorite!

This is the last time I go to Sears to get pictures done. Every time we go there is someone new there that either can't take a picture with kids, has no 'kid skills', doesn't know how to use the computer system (I had to show her how to use it!), or orders the wrong stuff. I spent $100 on pictures today and I was disappointed and frustrated, I don't like feeling like that AND spending my money for it.

I'm going to save my pennies for a set of alien bees lights and set up a studio in my basement - then I take all the pictures I want!

So anyway, I've set up a poll on the right to vote for which pictures I should use in our annual christmas card/newsletter. I usually use a picture of the three of us and then one of Arianna alone.

I'm averaging 150+ people looking at my blog daily - so please take a moment to vote for the two we should include, its super important to us!

Reunion Recap

Here's me with one of my classmates

So Saturday night was my reunion. Saturday afternoon I drove Arianna to my parents home so my father and I could go to the lumber yard and pick out the chair rail and baseboard to finish the kitchen. After that we drove to Target so they could pick up some baby gates and we did lunch at Chili's. Arianna was 'taken out' by 2 different waiters because she wouldn't actually sit and eat with us - she had to roam around and it was the job of myself or either of my parents to make sure she didn't bother folks (but in the process she was mowed down by two unwittingly waiters). She was darn cute! She had a piece of her grilled cheese sandwhich in her hand and she'd walk around aimlessly before walking up to random person shout "HI!" and try to hand her sandwich to them... most people were good but one older couple was seriously annoyed that Ari kept walking around. It was much better than the screaming she was doing from her highchair, so we let her walk around.

I was home by 3:30 PM and had to get ready. I felt like I was going to a wedding - I never ever wear makeup and had to hunt for my 'bag of war paint' and find a suitable outfit to wear. Then into the shower to clean up and shave EVERY single hair off my body (why was that? Are people going to see me naked?). By 6:45 I was ready. I sat down and had dinner (big piece of blueberry pie w/ ice cream - real diet conscience huh?). Then we put Arianna to bed and I drove to the ATM and to my friend Megan's house.

6 years ago we lived with Megan and her now husband in their house, which at the time was 5 different apartments. We stayed there for 2 years before we moved to Providence and got our HUGE (in comparison) apartment. I arrived to find they had just finished what would be their dining room and Paul had just put in a really nice inlaid wood floor - it was nice. Then they told me they may be selling their house! I was surprised because I know how much work they've put into it but a developer may be buying up a bunch of the homes in her immediate area and putting in a strip mall or the like. I hope they get lots of money because their lot is really nice and they have a small garden area and HUGE in-ground pool.

Our friend Erika joined us and we drove to the restaurant. Our friend Karen met us in the parking lot and we bravely went inside. We were, surprisingly, one of the first people there - we checked in, said hello to some folks that had the nerve to look at us and went to put down our coats. This was going to be a multi-drink night.

It seriously took 2 drinks before I could talk to people. After the first one someone came up to me and said hello. I had no clue who she was. Turns out she'd had two kids and lost about 100 lbs. I really didn't recognize her. I wasn't friends with her in high school. It didn't take long before we were chatting up our kids and somehow the conversation twisted into her telling me about her really bad choice in guys and how she lived in a shelter and how she got beat up by her ex-boyfriend... way too much information, I barely knew her. I felt bad but it was obvious she wanted someone to talk to about it - it just wasn't going to be me.

After 4 drinks I ventured out of my 'comfort zone' and said hello to more people. After 5 drinks someone spilled my wine all over me (and my friend Karen). After 6 drinks the night was nearly over, we were starving and it was time to say goodbye. 5 hours, 6 drinks. Not too bad actually and none of us were unable to drive. We drove to dunkin donuts, at 1:30 AM and had flat bread sandwiches. I got home at 2:30 AM, dove into bed (make up, wine stained clothes and all) and got up at 8:30 AM. I don't think I got out of my PJs on Sunday... completely shocked at the lack of a hangover.

It amazes me that all the cliques were still there. I think I was only asked by 2 people what I was doing for work or where I was living - no one really asked those questions. As it turns out most of my classmates are single or still in grad-school. I think it was somewhere around drink 6 that I got to talk to one of my classmates who is doing post grad work in clinical psychology and works at a psychiatric hospital my mother frequents - for some reason I felt the need to give her a big hug and say thank you for all she does. My mom spends a lot of time in those types of hospitals and I doubt she's ever met my friend, but... I think the wine made me do it. I'm slightly ashamed of it now.

The music was way too loud. One of my classmates works as a DJ and he played everything super loud - so much so that I felt we had to scream to talk to people. The food stunk - there was almost NOTHING to eat. Everyone congregated around the bar - must be a sign huh?

Although I'm glad I went I didn't meet anyone I would like to keep in touch with. It was something to do but I doubt I would do it again any time soon - another 10 years sounds about right.