Preemies in school

I have been doing more reading in the preemie internet community and have seen alot more talk about 'wait until your preemie gets to school to see the problems s/he has'.

This got me wondering. Why does that matter? Why does it matter that s/he is not on equal footing with peers of their age range? Why does it matter that s/he has many disabilities that could be a part of their early birth?

It matters because we are trying to fit our children into a pre-determined mold. We are trying to make them like everyone else instead of tailoring their learning experience to their individuality.

This is something I have struggled with lately - mainly because I've watched how much faster Arianna is picking up her preschool curriculum than the older children at her home-daycare. I'm very worried that when she starts school she will be smaller than all the other kids yet be more advanced academically and as a result will waste time in school where she could be learning more rather than waiting for everyone else to catch up to her.

She will be 2 years adjusted at the end of the month yet knows all her letters and counts to 20 on a regular basis - she actually corrects the other children when they get it wrong. She knows many nursery rhymes and will sing them (or demand we sign them to her: "Mama, sing Three Blind Mice peeze"). This is wonderful - I'm so glad she is learning so well and loves it! But at the same times its not wonderful - she is not at a maturity level for that type of learning environment. Much like myself. I was always academically on par with my peers but socially immature and I suffered for it.

I already know Arianna and I are very different people personality wise - she won't be a push-over like I was. She is very much a girl in a number of ways but she won't be a blubbering mess if someone says something mean to her - she'll usually be mean right back, which is great. But I don't want her academics to become stale because everyone else has to 'catch up' to her.

What's the solution? Not enrolling her in preschool for starters.

I will be leaving my job when the new baby arrives to stay home and will work on all the typical preschool requirements with Arianna on my own. She will do great with one-on-one learning, that much I know. But what happens when I have to release her to strangers who won't show the same love/enthusiasm/dedication to her learning that I do?

I don't know, but as each day goes by homeschooling looks better and better. There are many obstacles to overcome (social stigma for one, there are very few homeschoolers in my area) and my own personal apprehensions to work through but it does seem like an ideal solution to a problem that many parents face - prematurity or not.

Tailor the environment to your child rather than forcing them into a mold that they will never fit.

I don't like babies...

Yesterday I was on the phone with my best friend and we were talking about our kids - as usual. I could hear her little guy making all kinds of baby racket in the back groun - so much better than the usual screaming and crying I hear.

We got to talking about the problems I've been having in my pregnancy and about babies and we both came to the same conclusion.

We don't like the 'baby stage'.

Arianna's reflux, failure to thrive, failure to breastfeed, developmental delays and constant illness for her first 16 months were very draining on me. I dreaded having to stay home with her when she was sick because I knew what the day was going to consist of - her throwing up and screaming the majority of the day. It was very stressful and I hated that I had no control - I couldn't make it better.

Kathy's little guy had severe food allergies and reflux and was colicky for 12 months. What was worse for her is that she was a stay at home mom with no car during the day the entire time.

I want nothing more than a perfectly boring pregnancy but I'm not getting it. I want nothing more than a kid that doesn't require NICU time and will actually breastfeed... and I want nothing more than to be able to keep this one out of daycare. We're working on the last one but the other 2 are out of my control - and I hate that.

When you have something special...

Today I went to a scrapbooking crop - the last one I have scheduled for the year due to my pregnancy. I sat with my friends Becca, Jean and Melissa and we had a lot of fun chatting and enjoying each others company.

I'm home now, working on cleaning up my scraproom and taking pictures off my camera and I feel compelled to make this post about friends.

I am very lucky that I'm at a point in my life where I feel pretty content in my friendships - I know which ones are keepers and which ones are worth my time. My friend Becca will help out in a moments notice - I can call her just to talk and we meet up for coffee after work a lot. I feel lucky to have found her through scrapbooking.

My friend Karen recently got married and moved to Boston yet we make it a point to get together at least once a month for a girls afternoon. We email and talk often and it makes me feel really loved to know that she, despite working as a busy attorney and living in Boston, makes time for all her friendships (she has tons of friends too, so this is quite an achievement!). Heck, she's even babysit for me for an entire day once! I don't think she knew what she was walking into! haha

My friend Brenda and I email constantly throughout the day and get together every few weeks - I was just at her house last weekend. My friend Kathy and I got together with her to catch a movie and do lunch. Her husband just got into photography so I went over with my 'bag of tricks' to show him what I had and we played. I've known Brenda for a few years and its refreshing to STILL keep in contact and still have that friendship.

The friendship that means the most to me is my friend Kathy though. I've known Kathy for 21 years now - I can't believe how fast time has gone by. She's moved back to our home town and is a stay home mom to her adorable 13 month old little boy. They only have one car so getting together with her isn't easy but we still manage to get together often and talk a lot. Today I'm downloading pictures off my camera that I took at her little boys first birthday party last month - Kathy will come by the house tomorrow to pick up the CD. I just finished making her a birthday card - a belated birthday card because I was a tool and forgot her birthday was this last Friday. We both chuckled about that on the phone today - we prefer to start forgetting them now that we're approaching 30. But I still felt bad because she's my best friend - I should know better, especially when I have a stack of ready-made birthday cards right here at my desk.

I saw Kathy last weekend and next weekend we're getting together again. I am so lucky that I have the opportunity to do this with her because I know its not easy, being new moms, to do that - especially when she has only 1 car and lives 20 minutes away (in the northeast that's a pretty good distance) - but we both realize that we need to keep in contact so each other knows we can count on each other.

I feel very lucky that I have these friends to count on. What's even better is knowing how supportive they are of me and everything I do. I hope in the coming weeks I won't have to ask for their help because I'm on bed rest, but I know they'll do it if I ask. I'm lucky in that aspect and I hope I do enough to tell all of them how much I appreciate them.

Fire tips for children

This is an alarming video and important for parents to watch.



I'm hoping Arianna proves true to a previous smoke alarm 'test'(mommy has alot to learn about cooking) and wakes up for us...

I've been productive!

You'll remember from this post that I had my weekend retreat this past weekend.

I had an OB appointment to get my first 17P shot in the morning but then I drove home and my friend Becca picked me up and we started our trek up to Madison, NH to Purity Springs Resort.

Its not surprising to me how much stuff I had to bring but it would be surprising to some people to see that the two of us packed Becca's Civic to the hilt - she could barely see out her back windows with all our bags!

We stopped somewhere off the highway for lunch and arrived at the resort for 2 PM. We checked in and immediately drove over to the hall where we would do our cropping. I was really amazed at the number of people you can cram into a hall this size. There were at least 80 people in our room and there were another 2 halls of smaller size with another 45 people - amazing!

We each had 12 sq. ft. of space to work on at brand new solid wood tables - I hope they get better chairs for next year. There were also several local vendors there selling stuff to those of us that can't resist new papers or stickers (like me...).

The retreat was all inclusive and the food was awesome - I really have to stop stuffing my face. Vacation is OVER! Yikes. I was good, at least, and enjoyed lots of salad (in addition to the yummy blueberry pie :( ).

Our room was nice but sleeping was a little rough. I opted for the bed closest to the bathroom but it was a bunk bed and I've started getting bad leg cramps at night so I was jumping out of bed real quick to get out the cramp and I hit my head on the top bunk twice... ouch!

Otherwise I was very productive - I completed 50 pages! I have enough pictures, however, for an additional 200 pages! I hope to have them done before the end of the summer - I think this is very wishful thinking though.

On the bright side Becca and I both put down deposits for next April's retreat - I'll need it when I'm home with 2 kids!

She likes vacations...

We met with Arianna's nutritionist last week and found that, since the day before we left on the cruise, Arianna had put on 14 oz.! Wow!

She's back on the chart for her adjusted age - 5%! WOo HoO! She's not on the chart for her actual age but she looks good, so I won't complain.

She has another cold this week but seems to be eating ok so I hope this weight gain trend continues!

Potty Time!

I was surprised last Tuesday when I picked up Arianna at daycare.

She didn't have any pants on. Actually neither did the other 2 boys there. They were all wearing underwear!

Karah, the teacher has been working on potty training the older boys (3 and close to 3) and has started with her son who is a few months older than Arianna. She had no intention of working with Arianna until she found she was really interested in what the boys were doing.

Now she uses the potty at daycare!

So I broke down and went to Target and bought her 13 pairs of underwear - Dora the Explorer (who she's never seen before but know who she is??!), Minnie Mouse and, of course, Elmo and Zoe.

We locked ourselves in the house this weekend and kept her in underwear almost all day (except nap time). Karah is using the 'timer system' at daycare - putting the kids on the potty every 30 minutes. Friday night I started with Ari and found 30 minutes was too long - so I shortened it to 20 minutes and Saturday she was dry most of the morning. She wouldn't go 'pee pee' in the potty at all. She doesn't mind sitting on the potty though!

She's kinda cute when she has an accident. The underwear are still a bit big on her (the smallest size they had was 2T, which is still too big for her) and they hold nothing and would immediatley end up on the floor when she wet herself. She stands there, looking at it, yelling "OH NO! Oh NO! I made a mess! OH NO! OH NO!". Its incredibly cute, the first few times.

We were vindicated though. Sunday I was visiting with my parents so we could go to the wake of an extended family member and Arianna did #2 in the potty!! I was so excited for her and she was too! I got her an Elmo sticker and she was so proud of herself!

I hope today marks another good potty day at daycare and that she'll soon transfer that to home. I'm still in awe that she JUST turned 2 and is getting this already - she continues to amaze me!

Our vacation review - Carnival Victory

I know it has taken AGES for me to write some more about our trip but finding time has been difficult. I had to write a review for an online publication and it took all week cause I'm lazy (and tired)

So... without further adieu, here it is!

Carnival Victory 3/16/08 – 3/23/08

I just returned from a 7 day eastern Caribbean cruise aboard the Carnival Victory.

The ship left out of Port of Miami, traveled 2 days to Old San Juan Puerto Rico, arriving at 5 PM, leaving at 12 PM. We arrived in St. Thomas for 7 AM the next morning, left at 6 PM. On to St. Maarten for 7 AM the following day, leaving at 3:30 PM.

All in all we had a fantastic time and would gladly ‘do it again’ in a few years.

The CONS:

• The Lido Deck buffet restaurant was ALWAYS 20 – 30 degrees colder than the rest of the ship. By the time you finished your meal, your coffee would be cold. We could never find a booster seat or straws for my 2 year old and spent AT LEAST 10 minutes searching for them or for someone to help us find them. By the time we found them our eggs/bacon would be cold. So it got to the point where one person would go on the hunt, thusly getting out of the long line and by the time they got to the table, everyone else would be done.

• The ‘bar’ area in the buffet restaurant was always closed and there were never enough staff to get soft drinks from the other bars and we had to walk to the other side of the deck to get them.

• Camp Carnival wasn’t available for dinner time until day 3 so we didn’t get to eat dinner in the dining room until day 4 (day 3 we ate on shore in Puerto Rico). Day 2 was Captains Dinner, which we obviously missed. The Lido deck restaurant was mostly vacant, understandably, but there was only 1, yes 1, person working the buffet and he wouldn’t get us sodas – instead directing us to the other side of the deck to the bar by the pool. He wouldn’t clear our tables either. The food in the buffet was really kinda nasty that night – none our 5 person party finished their food. As a matter of fact the 4 adults sat there complaining about the trip thus far – we were really NOT having a good time by this point. We were very upset that just because we weren’t at the captains dinner we were dismissed – we paid the SAME price as everyone else and only required the service customary to the buffet during the day. It was a sorry sorry excuse for service that night.

• Our Dining room waiter ‘rushed us’ every night. We’d have a member of our table still eating their main entrée when he would bring the dessert menu over. He was forced to order dessert even though he wasn’t done eating. We did not linger at our table. Our seating was at 6:15 and we were almost always out of the dining room by 7:30 – giving us 10 minutes to finish our food would have been a common courtesy.

• Hubby and I are big jazz fans and I was disappointed to see that although they had jazz every night they were only held in the cigar lounge. Sitting in there for too long made my pregnant stomach want to hurl. Very disappointing as the groups were really good.

• There were very few things of interest during the ‘fun days at sea’ where the weather wasn’t sunny/hot. Our first ‘fun day at sea’ was cold and overcast – if there wasn’t a casino I think we would have slept the ENTIRE day. It was spring break week and the ship seemed to be full of dumb ‘hairy chest contests’ and art auctions. As a matter of fact, if you asked me, prior to getting to St. Thomas if I would go on another cruise the answer would have been a RESOUNDING ‘NO! NEVER!!!’ I found one item I wanted to do on day 6 – Scrapbook Crafts. It was held in the dining room where they were cleaning and the chairs were stacked awkwardly preventing us from getting to the tables. The woman running it showed up with scraps of paper (literally, scraps) and glue pens like my 2 year old uses. She then told us we had to spend $30 on their scrapbooks and hastily develop pictures we’ve taken on the trip thus far at $.23 per print (I get it for $.9 at home). She should have, instead, given us a discount on the scrapbooking supplies offered on board and spent some time showing us a new scrapbooking technique instead of showing us how to use supplies that are not photo safe. Had I not been pregnant and watching a 2 year old (thusly in bed by 9:30/10 PM every night) I think I could have enjoyed the shows more but it was sad nothing of interest is available on ship for days at sea until after dinner.

• Ports of call were too short. We got to Puerto Rico at 5 PM and had to be back at the ship for 11 PM. We grabbed a tour of Old San Juan which was very fun. It ended in the shopping district which was dirty and smelled like garbage. We managed to have a meal at a local restaurant and had to walk back to the ship (not a long walk). I got nice pictures but would have gladly missed this to spend time in another port. St. Thomas was wonderful. I would have enjoyed it more if my mother-in-laws boyfriend stayed home (he was a lead weight this whole trip, he lingered in the shopping areas forcing us to miss the skyride to paradise point and the only reason I lugged ALL my camera equipment with me). We had a great island tour and enjoyed the shopping immensely! The next day we docked in St. Maarten along with a RCI ship at 7 AM. The seas were rough. RCI let all their patrons off the ship with instructions to be back for 4 PM. Carnival would not let us off until 10 AM and had us back at 3 PM. This was not enough time to see ANYTHING. Carnival had discrepancies in what they considered ‘safe’ – as there were sea swells. One minute the captain would let us off, next minute corporate said no, next minute you can get off but come back in 2 hours. It was horrible. I was very disappointed in the way Carnival handled this – my parents have a time share in St. Maarten and I was very excited to see all they loved of this island… but no such luck. We had enough time to go into Philipsburg where my daughter got to play in the surf and we got a bite to eat – then it was back toward the ship and some of the small shops outside the dock. The line to get onto the Carnival ship gangway was as long as the ship – funny that RCI didn’t have any lines and we were leaving at the same time.

• Camp Carnival took many breaks during the day, at odd times. 2 hours at lunch, 2 hours before dinner and would frequently start at different times every day. This made trying to plan your day very difficult. I heard many parents complain about this in the long lines to pick up/drop off your kids – they all said Disney handles this much better.

The PROs

• Our balcony room! I will never cruise without a balcony again! The rooms were much bigger and it was so nice to have a private space. We’d put my daughter down for a nap in her crib and could then sip drinks or just talk on the balcony. They were surprisingly sound proof and opening the leaflet between our adjourning rooms was so nice!

• The food in the dining room. Even though we only experienced 4 nights in the dining room, we were not disappointed. We had two waiters – one was great, one wasn’t. Luckily we didn’t get the ‘not so great one’ often and really enjoyed our time there – I’m in love with the molten chocolate cake!

• The staff in the dining room. They were so wonderful. Filling our drinks before they were empty and offering seconds on whatever we seemed to like. The little dances and songs were very entertaining and the highlight of dinner. I was very sad to see their farewell dance/song the last night.

• The housekeeping staff. Carnival is doing something right with these folks because they are some of the NICEST and most COURTEOUS people I have EVER met. We scarcely passed someone in the hall that would say hello to us. They always had our room sparkling clean (which is a feat with a messy 2 year old) and were very respectful of my daughters sleeping/napping time. They would leave extra chocolates for her (we told our steward how much she loved them) and even left chocolate chip cookies with cute smiley faces on them for her. Turn down service was wonderful – even making a separate towel animal for her crib and folding her blanket for her. It was always so cute to see them tuck her bear in and even put her pacifier in its mouth! They really went out of their way with our room (even so much as FOLDING the dirty clothes my messy husband left on the floor!!) Not only that but the ship is AMAZINGLY clean, just amazingly clean – I want them at my house!

• Photography staff. They were great. The photos are horribly over priced but it was so nice to have nice formal portraits of my husband and I.

• Camp Carnival. I can’t say enough about this service. My daughter is 2 years old and no other cruise line with take a 2 year old that is not potty trained. They were the only reason we could go ashore and enjoy our time in the formal dining room. My daughter loved going to camp. She was actually quite a bear to be with during the day – she wanted to go back and ‘play toys’, and we were happy to oblige.

• Pursers Desk Staff. Very informative, fast, courteous and accommodating.

• Shore Excursion Staff. Very helpful – they let me return my skyride tickets, giving me an extra $100 to spend on jewelry!

• Jewelry shop. There were some good deals in St. Thomas but the best deals we found were on the ship – my husband got a beautiful watch and I thoroughly enjoyed the ‘inch of gold’ special during the last day at sea.

• The live music! I’m a musician in my past days and my husband is a music fanatic and we thoroughly enjoyed all the live music on board. The jazz trios (especially with vocals) were great and the classical trios were wonderful to sit at the bar and listen to. I really enjoyed writing in my trip journal while listening to them.

• The pools! My parents cruise often but have never been on a carnival line. My dad gripes about not being able to enjoy the pools onboard because they are salt water. The pools, at least on Lido Deck, were chlorinated! Ya!

• The walking/jogging track. On the days when it was sunny, this was my favorite place on the ship!

• The ship management. We had two medical emergencies on the ship during our voyage – thankfully on day 6 and 7. They were immediate in communication to everyone when the coast guard needed to get a helicopter onto the ship – it was fast and efficient. Communication in multiple languages even!

Overall, yes, we had a great trip but there are many things that could have been done/handled better. We will gladly cruise again after the second baby arrives later this summer but we will wait until they are old enough to enjoy the amenities on a Disney Cruise. If hubby and I ever get the chance to cruise alone (which is doubtful any time soon) we may try Carnival again as they seem to be very fun for adults – but we will be more careful about which route/ship we choose. More time in the ports of call would have been nice and a cruise director with better plans for on ship fun during the day is essential.

We're home!

I've got lots to fill you in on but I've got to recoup from our vacation! We had fun, and Ari loves her new hair!

See ya soon!

Great news!

Shawn dropped Arianna off at daycare this morning where she proceeded to eat another entire breakfast - I love seeing her eating! She's over the horrible stomach bug she had a few weeks ago (actually, we all had it) and back to eating in full force!

The lady that runs her daycare is a teacher - she still tutors high school students on nights/weekends. She is starting up a preschool program for the 4/5 kids she watches (3 are full time). This morning she told Shawn that Arianna is going to be in a different 'program' than the boys she watches. She's going to be advanced!! She said none of the boys know their ABCs or can count to 10 and they certainly don't sit still through an entire book like she does.

I can't believe I'm hearing this - my little 2 lb. preemie peanut is advanced for her age!! OMG, its music to my ears. I seriously can't stop crying... she continues to amaze me!

EI evaluation and general update

Arianna had her two year evaluation with Early Intervention a few weeks ago.

Last week her nutritionist came to the house to check on her progress and her EI caseworker accompanied. She's doing well eating - she eats alot. But she didn't gain so much as an ounce in nearly a month. I was very disappointed. She's still hovering about 10% for her actual age - which I shouldn't be disappointed in, but I am. She's still 22 lbs. exactly. But she's eating, so I'm happy. She has an appointment with her pediatrician next week so we'll see if her height has jumped up considerably or not - I hope thats the reason in the lack of weight gain.

The disappointing part of the visit is that Arianna is not being released by EI - she tested very badly in gross motor, which has always been her weak area. She tested at her actual age level in every area and advanced in expressive communication (she was very social that day). She's supposadly at a 15 month level for gross motor - which was worse than I thought. They had her go upstairs and she did very badly. So they're not releasing her but I hope they do soon. They'll re-evaluate her in 3 months to see if she's progressing

So to help that we're taking Arianna to gymnastics class, starting tomorrow. I debated taking her to Gymboree or Little Gym but those classes were very expensive ($330!) and concentrated on many different parts of development where I just want to concentrate on gross motor development. The gymnasium is very close to her daycare and less than half the cost of the other services! We'll probably meet up for dinner and the two of us will take her over to the gym for her class. At her age they require parental involvement - problem being that I can't lift anything over 20 lbs. for the remainder of this pregnancy - so I'm going to the first class to see how things run and what will be required of me and if I can handle it Shawn won't need to come - but I have a feeling it'll require lifting.

The classes sound very well structured:

Little Gems emphasizes a Fun-Learning Environment. Instead of children just sitting and waiting their turn, we set up circuit ( picture an obstacle course in your mind.) The instructor works one on one with you child then the child leads themselves around the rest of the circuit. Not only does this decrease boredom and behavioral problems it also improves upon:

Gross Motor Coordination Attention Listening Skills Memory Development Strengthen Muscles Sense of Accomplishment Memory Retention Agility

Skills

We teach in progression and use many creative, fun movement ideas and themes. They are great teaching aids that the children really enjoy doing. Gross motor coordination is developed through the use of:

Beam Trampoline Bars Tumbling Shapes Slides Tripod
P - Bars Thumper Boards Tunnels Rings Mats

... And So Much More!

Song Activities

Another highlight of our program is the use of music activities. This aids in improving eye-hand coordination, better listening skill and rhythm not to mention its fun. For song activities we make use of:

Bean Bags Rackets Balls Balloons
Ribbons Hula Hoops Lummi Sticks

... The list goes on and on...

I think it'll be great for Arianna. A few weeks ago we took her to the mall (so we could finish our clothes shopping for the cruise - next weekend came so fast!) and they have a little indoor play area for toddlers. It was the weekend so the place was absolutely PACKED with kids - easily 30 kids in this little area. Shawn walked around with her helping her play with everything and even though she didn't play like the other kids (she didn't climb on anything or slide down the slide) she wasn't intimidated, which is one less obstacle to overcome. So I hope being around other kids jumping on mats and tumbling with help her.

A few weeks ago we went to the birthday party of one of our friends little boys. It was held at a kids only indoor playground (very neat!). It had lots of toys to climb on, slides and push toys. A few weeks ago her daycare teacher told me she's trying to do girly things with Arianna since she's the only girl in her care - she tried playing with ponies etc. Arianna wanted NOTHING to do with girly stuff, she wanted to play with the snakes and trains the boys were playing with. She hasn't had alot of exposure to gender specific stuff (I actually have tried to discourage it) so it doesn't surprise me - but at this birthday party I thought I would capture a moment of 'girly-ness'. She had walked up to a doll carriage that had a baby doll in it and started to pick up the doll! I was so happy - camera ready and all. Only to find she was lifting up the doll to grab the matchbox car under her dress... oh well, so much for that!

Arianna's second birthday party is this weekend. Due to our upcoming trip and my new restrictions we decided to not have it at our home. We wanted her to play with friends and our house is still in a minor state of construction (that will now wait until the baby is born) and I don't want to worry about a clean house, frankly. So we've rented the My Gym near my parents house - they have a whole program set up for birthday parties. We're bringing the party to them basically. My parents, very graciously, purchased the cake from an EXCELLENT bakery nearby. I made up some really cute goodie bags for the 10 or so kids that will be coming and then we invited family. The best part is that it's only 2 hours so I don't have to worry about entertaining for too long.

I still can't believe 2 years is already gone. Here at my desk at work I have a wall dedicated to her pictures. I have copies of photos from 3 months to 18 months and I can't believe how big she's gotten. She's still my peanut but she's come so far. She amazes me every day!

How Fun!

88 words

So... all this time sitting in front of the computer is good for something huh? Where's the money that comes with this prestigious award?

Evolution of the human mind

Being a mom is pretty cool most days. Arianna is becoming much more independent and equally frustrated with her lack of independence (what do you mean I can't pull all the knives out of the butcher block, Mama?!). I'm so amazed by everything she is learning and doing.

Arianna's second birthday is a little less than a month away. She is roughly 21 months adjusted today but I've been trying to drop the 'adjusted age' for a little while now (its just too confusing to keep track of!). She's learned so much!

• She knows her ABCs
• She colors well with regular crayons
• She's eating very well now
• She has several phrases and multi-syllable words
• She's learning her shapes (loves triangles, oddly)
• She'll sit through books for children age 36+ months
• She'll go back to her room and flip through books by herself
• She knows quite a bit of sign language and uses it regularly! (table, chair, swing, cup and some others I can't remember right now - I'm amazed!)
• She says thank you regularly now (although often inappropriately)
  
• She says sorry when she knows she's done something wrong (at least I hope its because she knows she was bad!)

I'm truly amazed at everything my pint sized peanut can do! Even with a grade II brain bleed (which we didn't learn about until after she came home!) she is amazing me in so many ways. She has her own cute personality and is very charming. Yesterday I went shopping with my mom and Arianna was going through the racks saying "oh, thats cute!" to everything she touched. She'd run through the store giggling up a storm - and everyone commented on how darling she was.

I know, I don't need anyone to tell me that - every day I tell myself how lucky I am to be her mom.

My name is Jen and I have a problem...

I have a problem. I think first and foremost my problem is that I chose scrapbooking to obsess over and pour my creative thinking into. It used to be needlepoint (and I still do that, only sparingly which is why Arianna's very elaborate birth announcement piece is STILL less than 50% done), and it didn't 'move fast enough' for me so I took up scrapbooking.

A sub component of scrapbooking is photography - you need pictures to scrapbook and I'm obsessive about my photography.

I'm trying, very hard, to pick pictures for my scrapbooking retreat. I'm not touching Arianna's NICU photos as I need more time to emotionally deal with them - so I'm dealing with roughly 1 year and 7 months of photos that I need to pick through.

I took over 4,000 photos people... and 90% of this was BEFORE getting the good camera.

I think I'll need two months just to weed through photos never mind planning layouts... I'm exhausted just THINKING about it!

My new goal

8 weeks from now I have a special weekend (assuming my doctors give me the ok to go) planned.

My friend Becca and I are going on a scrapbooking retreat at a resort near the ski areas in New Hampshire. It's been planned for many months now and I just paid for my hotel room/crop fee. I'll be spending my weekend scrapbooking and I'm so excited! I hear the dining room is 4 stars!

I haven't really done too much scrapbooking lately as morning sickness has had me over a barrel (literally) and I haven't had the stamina to stay up late and plan layouts. So I have roughly 2 months to plan 100 to 200 layouts. I don't have the luggage to carry all my scrap supplies with me (couldn't anyway, I rival many stores with my stock!) so I have to plan everything well in advance.

I'm a planner - amazes Becca when we crop - I can finish entire albums in the matter of one night as long as I have a plan. So my goal is to finish ALL of Arianna's first and second year casual pictures...

Wish me luck - I'll need it!

Picture Post

I don't remember giving her permission to become a 'big girl' *sob*

This is just precious - Arianna's favorite thing in the world, books!

My little snow bunny

What is it...

...about a temper tantrum that turns your view of your perfect child into one of 'oh my god, get me out of here!'

I think we've hit the 'terrible twos' about a month early. Everything is an excuse for Arianna to erupt into tears... not just tears but sobs with hyperventilating. It's quite pathetic actually. Yesterday I wouldn't let her into the pantry to play with my spice bottles - she's recently learned how to open them and dump them on the cats (my poor fur babies put up with so much). Being blocked out of the pantry was cause for an eruption and she slapped me in the face!! That ended with her in her crib (she didn't nap well, maybe she was tired). About 30 minutes later she was very quiet and I hear "mama! mama! wowry! mama! mama!".

That's enough to melt your heart I tell ya! How is it after 30 minutes she realized she did something wrong and had to say sorry? It's so darn cute you can't stay mad!

Our time out routine includes saying sorry afterwards - guess its rubbing off. I like her new independence and am glad she's going to daycare full time soon - its a good time for her to get more interaction.

Week 2...

Today marks week 2 that Arianna has gone to home daycare. She goes on Monday's, for the time being.

Her first day went very well. I really like the daycare because its super kid friendly (mom is an ex-teacher and mom to a little boy same age as Ari) and has kid sized tables, chairs, sinks etc. Arianna enjoyed eating and drinking with the two other kids and Karah (the teacher) told me that she kept getting up to go wash her hands! I have no clue where that came from! She actually ended up eating more than day than the two other little boys that were there! On top of that she left her first day with her very first piece of 'art work'- a turtle she colored (aka scribbled on). I was really touched by it. Karah also had the kids help her make peach cobbler (which was their afternoon snack too) and she said Arianna LOVED cooking! Again, no clue where this came from as we have a serious 'cooking phobia' in our house. I'm glad we found Karah and are very comfortable with Arianna going full time in a few weeks - just wish it wasn't so far away so that she wouldn't have to get up at 6:30 AM...

Saturday was Karah's little boys birthday and we went to it. Karah found some corn starch packing peanuts and she FILLED one of the rooms with the packing peanuts for the kids to play in. Arianna literally just stood there - it was kinda sad actually. I was right next to her and I would dump some of the peanuts on her head and she giggled but didn't really play with it. She did love the balloons though and Karah gave her a special one with a spoon tied to it (Arianna has a strange love affair with spoons) and she was happy. As the party went on we watched her open up but she never really started playing. She's the youngest one there so we're not concerned about her interaction but at least it didn't scare her!

We had her annual EI Evaluation last Thursday - it went ok. It was very late in the day (4:30 - 6:30 PM) and she was hungry so she wasn't as cooperative as she could have been. I won't know how she did until sometime this week. I don't imagine she'll continue to qualify for services though. We meet with her nutritionist in a few weeks and I'm guessing she'll be released then - she's eating WONDERFULLY!

My husband is hoping to hear about two potential job offers today. One of them would suck but will probably pay more than we're expecting - but we have to way the 'is it worth it' factor. The job is in downtown Boston (Congress St.) so it would be a 3 hour commute every day and the hours are 9 - 6 PM meaning that he would be leaving the house at 6:30 AM and returning after 7:30 - when Arianna goes to bed. I really hope he doesn't take that one. The other is closer to home and the one we're clinging to right now - hoping it pays. I really hate this job searching stuff... way too much stress!

Smack us while we're down why don't ya!

You can't NOT take a job offer if it's the only one you've got. That would be stupid.

But, so far, the only offer my husband has had for work has been for $20,000 less than what his level of experience and the area we live in dictates (and even that number is still very conservative). Yes, you read that right. The offer came on the same day he interviewed for a very small software company around the corner, practically, from our house. The owner promises bonus' and an increase in salary by September but we know that the only thing 'guaranteed' in a new job is the starting salary and the starting salary is a joke for someone with nearly 10 years of great experience.

I feel very ungrateful that I'm so upset about the turn in events here. I should just be happy that he doesn't have to file for unemployment.

We told our nanny, Sarah, of the possibility of Shawn being out of work in a few weeks - more out of courtesy than anything. We really didn't feel that we would have to say goodbye to her as Shawn was getting SO many interviews.

Last night he accepted this new position, to start 2/18, and shortly thereafter Sarah called to tell us that she got her dream job and would be leaving us in two weeks. She's a nursing student, graduating with her AS degree in May. She wants to be an OB/Gyn nurse and found an office that will allow her to work part time AND offer tuition reimbursement for her to continue for her RN. She's stupid to not take it. I'm sad... crushed actually. Arianna LOVES Sarah. We LOVE Sarah. She was going to be my life line this summer when I'm sure to be on bedrest.

Shawn is still interviewing and the owner of the company where he accepted the offer would be foolish to not realize that he will still be looking. The salary is low and she wouldn't budge despite two attempts to negotiate.

Maybe my mood will increase if I can start feeling like a normal person again... but that's AT LEAST a month away. At least I haven't vomitted in a few days. The sad part of morning sickness as opposed to 'regular' sickness is that vomitting doesn't make you feel better... at all.