They're not going anywhere...

So Arianna is in the last stages of 'snot fest'. I brought her to the pediatrician earlier this week and was given an antihistamine for her nose - she was surprisingly good though the whole appointment. I put her on the scale just before we left, clothes and all and she was 22.4 lbs! So without clothes she should be AT LEAST 21.5 which would be a gain of 1.5 in a bit more than 2 months. Not fantastic, but I'll take it - its been horrible to get her to gain weight despite a concerted effort of nutritionist/nanny/parents/grandparents, cases of pediasure and GALLONS of eggnog (I'm totally not kidding on that last one).

We had our visit with our EI caseworker yesterday and she reminded me we're coming up on Arianna's review. She's doing well as far as EI is concerned and I'm fully expecting her to be dismissed at her review...

Wendy, her caseworker, told me that because of her failure to thrive diagnosis (which won't leave anytime soon, obviously) she qualifies for services indefinitely and in RI would qualify for an IEP and cost free preschool next fall (if she is still failure to thrive). This would be wonderful as preschool is expensive here... but I almost feel like I'm abusing the system. Arianna hasn't had any actual services, ever. We meet with Wendy once a month and play with toys and Ari always does exactly what she should - and actually with fine motor/cognition she is ahead, yesterday she put together a Mr. potato head, hat and all! She was evaluated by PT a few months ago and didn't qualify. Nutrition met with me once in the early summer and said 'yep, you know what you're doing'... she had OT when she was 4 months as I had real concerns over her lack of suck (thus the end of my attempt at direct breastfeeding and continuation of 13 months of pumping) but she's done well and Wendy doesn't think there is much OT will be able to help us with as Arianna eats a variety of textures, just not a lot in any one session, which we all believe is due to her reflux.

So Arianna doesn't use EI except to watch for problems - I can withdraw her if I feel its necessary. When I see Arianna with her peers I don't worry too much about her at this point - socially she handles all interactions well (even that evil little boy at the pediatricians office who wouldn't share). I know she needs more interaction with her peers but weighing that need vs. her health needs has proven tricky - for now we're taking the safe route and will try to keep her out of the hospital this winter.

Socially/Personally I have real issue with people 'abusing the system' and I don't want to fall into that category - but I pay taxes so I should be able to use it and if it will help Arianna I should just do it right? The preschool she would go to would be the town run one and you can only get into it with an IEP so she won't be with 'normally developing' children - so is there an advantage to her going there if the only reason she'd have an IEP is that she can't gain weight?

Then in the back of my head I think "my parents never had to deal with this and Arianna is doing better than I was...". But again my biggest concern for Arianna, right now, is social development...

I never thought, when I was pregnant, that I would have to think about these things. It's really not a big deal and many would be envious of our position, its just totally unfamiliar to me and I'm not exactly sure what the best answer is...