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Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Preemies in school

I have been doing more reading in the preemie internet community and have seen alot more talk about 'wait until your preemie gets to school to see the problems s/he has'.

This got me wondering. Why does that matter? Why does it matter that s/he is not on equal footing with peers of their age range? Why does it matter that s/he has many disabilities that could be a part of their early birth?

It matters because we are trying to fit our children into a pre-determined mold. We are trying to make them like everyone else instead of tailoring their learning experience to their individuality.

This is something I have struggled with lately - mainly because I've watched how much faster Arianna is picking up her preschool curriculum than the older children at her home-daycare. I'm very worried that when she starts school she will be smaller than all the other kids yet be more advanced academically and as a result will waste time in school where she could be learning more rather than waiting for everyone else to catch up to her.

She will be 2 years adjusted at the end of the month yet knows all her letters and counts to 20 on a regular basis - she actually corrects the other children when they get it wrong. She knows many nursery rhymes and will sing them (or demand we sign them to her: "Mama, sing Three Blind Mice peeze"). This is wonderful - I'm so glad she is learning so well and loves it! But at the same times its not wonderful - she is not at a maturity level for that type of learning environment. Much like myself. I was always academically on par with my peers but socially immature and I suffered for it.

I already know Arianna and I are very different people personality wise - she won't be a push-over like I was. She is very much a girl in a number of ways but she won't be a blubbering mess if someone says something mean to her - she'll usually be mean right back, which is great. But I don't want her academics to become stale because everyone else has to 'catch up' to her.

What's the solution? Not enrolling her in preschool for starters.

I will be leaving my job when the new baby arrives to stay home and will work on all the typical preschool requirements with Arianna on my own. She will do great with one-on-one learning, that much I know. But what happens when I have to release her to strangers who won't show the same love/enthusiasm/dedication to her learning that I do?

I don't know, but as each day goes by homeschooling looks better and better. There are many obstacles to overcome (social stigma for one, there are very few homeschoolers in my area) and my own personal apprehensions to work through but it does seem like an ideal solution to a problem that many parents face - prematurity or not.

Tailor the environment to your child rather than forcing them into a mold that they will never fit.

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