Going, going....

On my way home from my weekly weight loss meetings it occurred to me that I hadn't talked to my best friend Kathy in a few weeks so I grabbed my cell phone and gave her a ring.

She sounded un-characteristically perky when she answered. I was happy for her.

Her little boy Nathan, who is about 3 months old, has food allergies. Kathy, who is breastfeeding, has been doing an elimination diet to help him. I think at one point she was eating only pork and avocados. It's been hard for both of them trying to find what he can and can not eat.

She told me that yesterday they saw the GI doctor for the first time. He gave them Neocate to try and told her to not worry too much about breastfeeding. Kathy is as staunch a breastfeeding advocate as I was - I even gave her my breast pump when I finished with it. She is NOT taking the doctors advice but may introduce the Neocate on occasion. He gave her a new diet telling her she can add the others foods back but avoid milk and soy, for now. She said when she got home she had a peanut butter sandwich - something she hadn't had in months.

It takes me about 20 minutes to get home from my weight loss program and that time seemed to fly while talking to Kathy.

We talked about Arianna's eating struggles and our nanny search. We joked about Arianna getting glasses as we both have glasses and had them at a young age too! Kathy even did the whole 'eye patch' thing!

I was purposely avoiding asking Kathy one question - because I was pretty sure I knew the answer based on how happy she was.

Kathy and her husband Shawn live in Northampton, MA - near where they graduated college (UMass Amherst). Kathy works as a social worker for mentally disabled adults and Shawn works in a job he hates as a middle school science teacher.

Shawn's family lives in California - just outside Oceanside (which my husband informed me is considered 'lo-cal', not 'so-cal'... whatever). His mother is a stay-at-home/homeschooling mom to his younger sister who is in high school. His older brother is in a 'transitional program' for delinquents. His other sister has a 3 year old that his mom watches while she works. Shawn is the only one not in CA. His father is running a start up company that manufactures products that stores can sell under their own label - he says its doing very well.

Kathy's family lives in Massachusetts. His father is remarried still living in Foxboro and her mother lives in Pawtucket, RI - not far from Shawn and I. Her brother lives in Boston and is very much living the life of a typical gay urbanite.

They need a change. Kathy has had the same job since graduating college and Shawn hates his job as a teacher - has for years. It's hard for them to get a change in the area of Massachusetts they live in. Its not known for its industry - it's known more for the hippie lifestyle it promotes.

This was the question I was avoiding:

Over Memorial Day Weekend Shawn was traveling to CA for a job interview at a private school in Oceanside. They were looking to move to Oceanside to be closer to his family. His mother would watch Nathan every day so they could both work.

I didn't really want to know how the interview went because I actually support them moving, despite it making me sad. They need to jump-start their careers and their lives; they've been stagnant and miserable for so long.

Kathy said that Shawn didn't go to the interview! Instead he interviewed for his father and his partner! It went well.

They're moving next month.

Just typing that makes me cry.

Shawn will start at a VP type level and because its a start up he will be able to create his own niche. He is the type of person, and has the personality, that would be PERFECT for a job like this - he can make it just what he wants it to be and he'll love it!

Kathy has applied for jobs as a supervisor for social workers. I hope she gets it - she likes doing social work but needs to move up and a supervisory role would be good for her.

They'll live with his family for a few weeks while they search for an apartment and get to know the area.

I'm happy for them, really I am, but I'm sad for myself. I miss my friends. I'll really miss Kathy. Omitting a few months stretch in 7th grade, Kathy and I have been friends for 20 years - yes, you read that right. Heck, I was even good friends with her baby brother - we all went to a Smashing Pumpkins concert together in high school! He was the biggest SP fan ever. I think I was more accepting of his homosexuality than Kathy (a born-again Christian in college) was. I remember riding my bike to her house in 5th grade, we had identical bikes. Someone stole them while we were inside her house doing our homework. When I had to get away from my father, in high school, it was Kathy's house I went to. She was the only one that I actually visited when we were in college. I know all of her college friends, even went on a double blind date with her college roommate. I was the first person she called when her son was born. I was her maid of honor at her wedding. I helped plan her baby shower. She was my maid of honor and helped with my shower.

I'm so bummed for me, but I'm happy for them. I'm bummed our kids won't become friends like Kathy and I were. I wish Shawn lots of luck with his new job and I wish Kathy luck finding a new job. I wish her luck in adapting into his family and even more luck dealing with her sons allergies. He's so cute, looks like dad though.

I can only hope that we get some really great financial good fortune that will allow me to visit 'LoCal' often.