All signed up

I drove into the city today to meet with the doctor about the Optifast Program. My appointment was at 9:30 and I made it in record time.

I felt very strange being there. The majority of people who sign up for this program are big. By big I mean morbidly obese and can't walk without assistance. In the waiting room were 3 such people... and me, who can walk just fine and still buy clothes in normal stores. I felt out of place and ashamed to be there.

But they brought me into the back and filled out paperwork anyway. I weigh much more than I thought I did, which would normally be a downer, but now I hoped to do something about it. The doctor finally met with me and we talked about what made me 'fall off the wagon'.

In truth it was because my world was thrown on its head - I became a mom. Not just a mom, but a mom to a preemie to boot. There's been a lot of stress and I've had a hard time dealing with it. I don't have much time for myself so making time to work out is limited and making time to really plan my food like I should is also limited.

He was very sympathetic and explained that I had nothing to be ashamed of and he was glad I made the decision to try again and he expects me to do as well as I did last time.

I lost almost 70 lbs. last time, this time I'd have to lose 30 to get back to where I finished this program last time, but I'd like to lose an additional 10 lbs.

At my babyshower last year one of my Dad's friends commented about how she didn't think I looked good at my lowest weight. I thought I looked great and I can't wait to get back there!

My first group session is Monday night which is when I'll by my product, so my first official day is Tuesday. Thats going to be a long/hard day, but the benefits are very much worth it.

On the way back to the office I called my mom. I was excited and was going to tell her about me joining the program again. We had done it together, I did extremely well, my mom didn't. It was 10:15 when I called and woke her up. I didn't tell her and when she called me back at 1 PM I didn't feel like telling her.

I guess I want to surprise them with my weight loss. So if any of you know my mom, don't tell her! :)