I doubt I'm the first preemie parent to get upset when you hear things such as "oh I was like that when I was little, she'll be fine" - yet they weren't born at 28 weeks, they were full term. I find it incredibly condescending as I've done research on this. I wish it was common knowledge so preemie parents wouldn't have to explain themselves so often!
My research has shown to me that just being born prematurely is a major factor for disability. The brain is nor formed fully. The environment inside mother's womb helps to facilitate complete brain formation - this does not happen the way it should when baby is born prematurely. It is my hope that over time the premature person's brain can form or build pathways to become similar in function to a full-term person's brain. I have not seen research on this - yet hear it said, so if someone has a study on this, please point me in its direction.
I came across this link, of interest: http://www.prematurity.org/research/helen-walters.html
I thought I'd compare myself, born at 30 weeks in 1978. (I'll only concentrate on the points that I can make a connection)
I'll start with some background. I was born at 30 weeks, in November 1978 after my mother's pre-term labor/pPROM. I weighed 3 lbs. 1 oz., just over 1500 grams which takes me out of the very low birth weight category. My daughter weighed 2 lbs. 15 1/2 oz. at birth, just under 1500 grams. I spent 9 weeks in the NICU at St. Elizabeth's hospital in Boston, 7 of those weeks were spent on a ventilator. I had several 'events' requiring full cardio-pulmonary resuscitation.
b) In girls, the cognitive learning style is often visual-spacial* instead of auditory^.
*If you use the visual style, you prefer using images, pictures, colors, and maps to organize information and communicate with others. You can easily visualize objects, plans and outcomes in your mind’s eye. You also have a good spatial sense, which gives you a good sense of direction. You can easily find your way around using maps, and you rarely get lost. When you walk out of an elevator, you instinctively know which way to turn.
The whiteboard is a best friend (or would be if you had access to one). You love drawing, scribbling and doodling, especially with colors. You typically have a good dress sense and color balance (although not always!).
^If you use the aural style, you like to work with sound and music. You have a good sense of pitch and rhythm. You typically can sing, play a musical instrument, or identify the sounds of different instruments. Certain music invokes strong emotions. You notice the music playing in the background of movies, TV shows and other media. You often find yourself humming or tapping a song or jingle, or a theme or jingle pops into your head without prompting.
This is NOT me. I am very much an auditory learner. I was always singing and dancing when younger. I can actually recall being 4 years old and random family members coming up to me asking me if I would dance and sign for them again. I loved to dance and sing.
I was heavily involved in music in middle school and high school. I played 5 different instruments well and another 3 'passably'. I majored in music education in college for one year, dropped out due to financing (which now fuels my quest for more financial security), and eventually returned part time to get a degree in computer programming.
My friend Megan, who reads this blog, can attest to my always whistling while in school.
c) Many girls are tomboys or have strong tendencies toward male-oriented, strenuous, athletic behaviors.
Um, again, not me. I did try out for the girls softball team when I was a freshman in high school though. Didn't make it, ended up sharing the role of 'team manager'. It was quite funny. My mom had me in dance when I was very young (4/5) and I wasn't 'great'. I goofed off a lot in class and didn't follow direction very well. They do have some really cute pictures of me in my little costumes!
I am a registered skydiver though. It is a very male-oriented sport. I found the feeling of free fall (being in the air after exiting the aircraft) to be very peaceful. I never looked at it as 'a rush'. As a matter of fact the most 'rush' inducing part of a skydive is landing, and I hate landing. I was so bad at landing I didn't stand up a landing until after I had 100 skydives!
And trust me, skydiving does not require strenuous activity. I know of many over weight skydivers who pay someone to pack their 'chute for them - which is the 'strenuous' part of skydiving, in my opinion.
d) Hyperactivity is usually goal-directed. Children are often busy doing constructive things; one girl wove 500 hot pads.
I don't think I'm hyperactive but I am very goal oriented. I do cross stitching and scrapbooking but I have never done marathon sessions. Its very rare for me to become so focused on a task as to get lots of it done in one session.
e) The girls in the sample tended to be unusually strong.
Hahahaha. Can I laugh? Strong? I was fat from 9 years old on, strong wasn't even in my vocabulary.
f) Many have temperament traits that were apparent from the first day of birth: irritable and cranky, stubborn, with a mind of their own; demanding and bossy; little or no self-motivation; self-centered; have frequent temper tantrums.
I am stubborn. But I don't believe I'm irritable & cranky. My parents told me I was the most cranky baby until 8 months old. I imagine it was due to reflux, which wasn't treated in infants then. I definitely have a mind of my own - dare anyone to get in my way when I'm on a 'mission'. Demanding & bossy, I think I can be when I get upset. Little or no self-motivation - definitely not. Self-centered? I think everyone has a tendency toward this. I don't believe I am more self-centered than anyone else. Frequent temper tantrums? I asked my mom. She said I didn't have many that she recalls. But she did mention I frequently got what I wanted. I think she used the words spoiled brat in our conversation at some point. *wink*
g) Difficulty in learning to read write and spell.
Actually, I excelled at this. I had read the entire Anne of Green Gables series in 3rd grade. I was always top of the reading/spelling SRA sets in middle school. Writing has never been a problem. I think I communicate well through writing, and enjoy it too - as is evident by this blog.
h) Visual-motor-perceptual problems interfere with processing written symbols of language; writing tends to range from sloppy to dysgraphic; problems with gross motor development.
Hmm, I don't think this was a problem for me either. I recall writing my name, in cursive shortly before we moved out of our apartment in Boston (I was 8 when we moved). I did have some major work done on my cursive when I was in 4th grade. My teacher, Mrs. Hutchinson, held a contest for the most improved cursive. It was between me and Karen Orlandi. I won! My handwriting is very nice now.
i) Girls tend to respond to boy-type visual-spacial and redundancy procedures if there are reading, writing, or spelling problems.
Not in my case, but then again I never had trouble with those things.
j) Girls love horses and dogs in particular, and all animals in general; they often work hard taking care of their animals.
I took horse back riding when I was about 8 one summer. I was very scared of the big horses and would only ride the Shetland pony. He was old and didn't move very fast at all - that made me happy.
I love cats, never been a dog person. I volunteer, pretty actively, with Siamese rescue and love every minute of it. I think my love of cats is more from my parents though - they had many siamese and I loved them.
k) Difficulty delaying need satisfaction; all demands must be met now, this moment.
Don't think this has ever been a problem for me. Yes, I like things right now but doesn't everyone?
l) Many have sleep cycle disturbances: light sleepers, hard sleepers; wake up crabby; stay up late at night; hard to get to bed.
Nope, not a problem. My dad is a light sleeper. My mom is a 'dead' sleeper. I sleep very well. Megan can chime in here too. We'd have sleep-overs when I was younger and I was always the first one asleep!
m) Many girls are hypochondriacs; a small scratch becomes a major event.
Nope, not a problem for me. Just ask my husband how long it took me to finally see someone about my heart problems (non-preemie related). I really don't like being the center of attention.
n) Often they do not respond to cultural systems of discipline. Yelling, spanking, take away, and anger in voice, makes them worse.
My dad was very 'conventional' in discipline. It was always physical. Worked for my brother and I, I guess. It certainly didn't make us 'worse'.
o) Difficulties with peers. Often have only one friend; complain no one likes them.
This was me to a 'T'. I had a lot of difficulty making friends. When I lived in Boston and attended a parochial school I did very well with friends. I had many and was happy. When we moved to Foxboro I had no friends, for a long time. The friends I did have didn't treat me very well and I was miserable. I think I was in 8th grade before I stopped asking my parents why we moved. I really missed the feeling of having friends. In 8th grade I started getting heavily into my music and started placing in state competitions, thusly gaining a lot of self confidence. I didn't have too much trouble with friends after that happened.
I was in a lot of psycho-therapy as a middle schooler because of the problems I had with friends. Actually we were in family therapy as my mother has bi-polar disorder and my parents were on the verge of getting a divorce (for the 8th or 10th time...).
p) Many lack social finesse, even in young adulthood. (Shy and tend to be blunt).
Hmm. I think I do ok in that aspect. When I was younger I definitely didn't have social 'finesse'. I actually remember thinking to myself, when something happens that should hurt you (like falling down or getting hit with a ball in gym), you should laugh. So when it happened in middle school, during gym, when I was hit in the head with a basketball, instead of saying 'ouch' or something to that affect, I started laughing, like crazy. Yes, they looked at me weird.
q) They may talk as early as fullterm children, but have more speech defects.
My mom never said I had speech problems. I never recall having any either.
r) They have a higher incidence of sensory abnormalities (poor gait, visual problems, oversensitive to noise, etc.) and other nervous system problems.
Yes. I just saw a picture of me, with my cousins, when I was my daughters age - 13 months. (actually, Arianna is 14 months today!). I already had a severe turn in my right eye then. I got glasses at 4, had them until when my turn resolved. I just got a new pair this week to help with nearsightedness. I can still make my eye turn if I try real hard.
Took a depth perception test with this new doctor too, which I had never had before. I have almost NO depth perception without glasses. Its no wonder I had such a hard time landing my parachute! Sure I'll blame it on that! *wink*
In reality, women parachuter's have a much harder time with landing than their male counterparts. I think it may be due to the upper body strength needed to pull down the toggles causing the speed to slow. Genetically males have more upper body strength at a baseline than women.
s) They are often less self-reliant, depending on adults more than fullterm children
Although this may have been the case when I was younger, as a teenager I was very self-reliant. Due to my relationship with my father as a teenager I was frequently living with friends and used money from the part-time jobs I had to buy myself food etc.
I moved out and into my own apartment at 19 and haven't look back.
t) Many of the children are controlling and oppositional.
Hmm... Nope, I was too shy to take control of a situation and frequently did what everyone else did just to be included. Far from oppositional.
I thought this was very interesting, over all. Although I may not fit the mold, that doesn't mean that this particular 'study' is not valid. Just pointing out that this particular study doesn't seem to apply to me, in almost any way.
Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there. This mother's day is special for me as Arianna was in the PICU at the children's hopsital, just one week after coming home from the NICU, with para-influenza, this time last year.
No comments:
Post a Comment